Hi and welcome to the Attic, I'm Frankenberry of said Blog Title and I write of just my everyday here, sometimes funny, sometimes heart felt, sometimes angry, sometimes funny again because, well, who don't like funny, thoughts on getting older and sometimes stuff that's just kinda shit. I pen and sing the occasional parody tune, sometimes I even get a little poetic. If you're joining me here I thank you, but just mind your head and feet and keep an eye out for my little Bella and Cricket The Blind as well as the memories of Mimi the Quirky, of Blink The Lil' Kit, Grayson the Mighty, Shoes the Big Orange, Shana-Girl, Benny Good Man Benny Brown, Merlin & Bob. Wouldn't want you step on them or anything … 'cause then I might just have to throw you down the stairs … damned humans.
You know I’ve been doing my ‘parody’ song thing for quite a while now, goin’ on four years I think, some of them have been pretty good and some of them have been absolute shit. But I thought I’d go back today to my first one when I was part of Morning Show. It was about a story of “intelligent design” and the attempt to rename creationism to make it sound more science-like. Don’t get me started on that nonsense. Now the production quality on that one was pretty rough and it was also 17 years ago and I had only been back in radio for a couple of years (after a six year layoff) so my production skills were still a work in progress.
It was to one of my favorite tunes ever, Dire Straits “Industrial Disease”.
Though that initial attempt wasn’t all that good (lyrically it was – it made a point of the dumb) I decided, a number of years later, December of ’19, to update it to the then current state of orange madness we were in.
This new one still made a good point of the dumb.
/////////////////////////////////////////
There’s warning light’s a flashin’ for a Trumpian reprieve
There was some election riggin’, with some Russians up a sleeve
But Dem’s they did some diggin’ to more meddlin’ goin’ round
And now they’re out to make sure that the walls they come down
—
There’s a meeting in the Congress they’re talkin’ of impeach
One side says yes let’s do it, to the other it’s a reach
But the other side’s brought nothing but debunked conspiracies
Goodness me could this be a Trumpian Disease?
–=
The President feels justified in talking to the folks
Refusin’ to be quieted and sayin’ it’s no joke
His phone call it was perfect, no ulterior design
He wasn’t tryin’ get help for this new election time
But there’s panic for the Elephant’s these Donkeys all are nuts
The oft repeated tired spin will tell you what is what
That the problem that persists with the Dems all of the time
Is them fighting against great leader’s Trumpian Design
—
State news pundits sure are down with perpetuating lies
Even Moscow Tucker claims he’d be Ok with Russian ties
Of rooting them to victory if that need be the case
Or condemning ol’ Ukraine to help trump D who’s his ace
—
And Trumpy’s lackey lapdogs are now picking up the pace
Of lies needed protect him ‘fore the Senate do they race
Where they’re better able set the Circus Trump he so inclines
To make a victim’s case and prove his Trumpian Design
—
Now William The Low Barr declared
There’s no crimes to be seen here, he’s the President ya know
He’s above law, never fear
Now he hired me to be his hatchet gun and yes man shill
To protect from prosecution while I drink this orange swill
So I openly investigate investigators then
Prove wacky 4 chan theories of disloyal deep state men—
So I can come back with a pre-determined breaking news release
That will prove out the correctness of a Trumpian Disease
—
Now we go down Washington DC where they’re in the muck
Of a swamp that ain’t been drained just deeper & run amok
With all his jailhouse friends most found under a bus
But there’s still some who are waitin’ to hear a pardon’s fuss
While his blood bound GOP who he’s got upon their knees
Say yes sir, no sir, of course sir, anything that you please
We’ll protect you oh great leader from the dreaded Dem blue sleaze
We’ll throw up smoke & mirrors for you on your Trump Trapeze
—
They’ll point out they’re the enemy to keep folks mute & blind
That they should be a’feared of Dems & all those of their kind
That they speak of socialism & the evils of the trees
But you’re the God chose new Messiah heaven gave ya keys
—
Meanwhile God just throws his hands exasperation real
He can’t believe what is unfolding just what is the deal
A party selling country out while building a lie shrine.
To their new Monarch’s Trumpian Design
Yeah, that’s it … a Trumpian Design … Hey producer guy? Yeah, you … can we get the sound of ya know of tanks and a flyover here or somethin’? … the sound of boots too, tall ones, really hard heels … boots doin’ some marchin’ … well crowd noise, good idea … get some crowd noise … big crowd noise though, ‘kay? … then, maybe throw in some of the best words from some of the best speeches … by any President … ever … this is gonna be great!
Ok, I don’t really have much for the saying right now in the way of a post, just a Supreme Court thing (though I did work “bereft” into the lyrics … I know, I’m good that way).
(to the Talking Heads version of “Take Me To The River”)
—
We don’t know why you livin’ like ya do
G O P can – help you un-blue
We stole two seats now to leave you bereft
Of any hope of what – fair was left
And we wanna know – and we’ll – tell you
Progress stops right here
—
We’ll take it to the SCOTUS
A court beholden to us
We’ll take it all to SCOTUS
Partis’n arm we made thus
To lead it around
Backwards where we’ll be found
—
The extremists are not on the left
That’s just cry rally we’ve always kept
No radical court – it’ s square to the right
They hem and haw but it’s in plain sight
Want you to know, can’t you – see how
We lead them by the haaaaand
—
Take it to the SCOTUS
A court beholden to us
We’ll take it all to SCOTUS
Partis’n arm we made thus
To drag your rights down
Backwards where we’ll be ….
—
Crosshairs, dazed stares, we don’t care, what you want here
Till we can’t,
Till we can’t,
Hold our glee at
Our own court’s red de-crees now
—
It’s a court beholden to us
We’ll take it all to SCOTUS
Partis’n arm we made thus
To lead it around
Backwards where we’ll be found
—
break
—
We don’t know why you’re stewing like ya do
Bout all the rights – next in the queue
To be struck down now – with radical hand
Voting women equal they don’t stand a chance
—
Want you to know now
That your rights now
Are up to Uuuuusssss
—
We’ll take it to the SCOTUS
A court beholden to us
We’ll take it all to SCOTUS
Partis’n arm we made thus
To lead it around
Backwards where we’ll be found
—
We’ll take it, we’ll take it, we’ll take it to the SCOTUS
They’re all ours now and we’re gonna have them show us
We’ll take it, we’ll take it, we’ll take it to the SCOTUS
You’re gonna regret that you didn’t vote for us
We’ll take it, we’ll take it, we’ll take it to the SCOTUS
We own them now and they’re gonna send us backwards fast
I know this one is only from last November, the end of another High School football season, one of my favorite things, but it kinda rocks and I like it so …
////////////////////////////////////////////
(from Nov 20, 2021)
After 10 weeks of some Friday Night Lights Football return where I made a few well needed bucks and was reminded of enjoying the hell out of myself on these nights again after a COVID year’s layoff, walked some pretty darn good High School Football sideline games with my parabolic along the way or some not so much (rain games with lightning bolt holds, penalty flags like confetti and curious overtime finale’s) but whose nights caught up with up with me and my sometimes old, especially the last two cold ones, I finally got a chance to NOT Friday Night Lights Football with our season done and just hang in my little studio after work knowing that I was going to get home and then hang with the girls and a PC and headphones at a reasonable hour, no driving up the state at the end of a regular day for a two hour ride, a five hour work a game and a two hour return.
Mimi the Quirky wouldn’t rasp at me tonight at my late. Cricket the Blind wouldn’t feel as needy after a finally sat lap and little Bella wouldn’t just stare in her wide eyed disapproving blinklessness, as she blinklessly does at the door wondering where the fuck I’ve been, but instead, wind sprint across the hardwood excited that it wasn’t one in the morning.
I was back at a MY return Friday, a regular Friday, though a still a make a point Friday it seems, always wishing I didn’t have to make some point again, thinking that after 10 weeks of not making points and thinking of only immediate things, like that one kid rushing and passing Kyler Murray-like top of game, where the world was just yards gained and pretty tip toe pylons, crowds roaring or crowds cursing, that maybe the need for making points would have faded a bit while I was sidelining in a temporary no need for points to make kinda world.
Hey, a boy can dream right … but if I’m going to have to make a point again?
A new it needs be tune then … and loud
////////////////////////////////////////////
(To Green Day’s “Troublemaker” from “Uno!” … have instrumental and new lyrics will travel)
Kingmaker
Yeah!
Woo hoo hoo
—
Hey!
Democracy’s under attack
Right in plain sight a lockstep right
Work their authoritarian plight
—
Hey!
They wanna control the states
So next time vote around they’ll mess ‘bove ground
Mold sham results for self-serving tastes
—
They wanna be some new Kingmakers
Autocracy’s G-O-P takers
They wanna be some new Kingmakers
Great leader’s cult first of new shakers
—
Hey!
We like your lie moxie cool
Obstructive whitewash of what was true
It’s quite impressive in its attempt at coup
—
Hey!
His Rally’s his palace days
He’s sounding loaded, old lie bloated
In his propagandist playbook word salad way
—
They wanna be some new Kingmakers
Autocracy’s G-O-P takers
They wanna be some new Kingmakers
Great leader’s cult first of new shakers
—
Hey!
Woooh oooh oooh
Woooh oooh oooh
Woooh oooh oooh
Yeah!
—
They saw election pass with result a bad state
So pass suppression laws before it’s too late
Present these measures in a group all for one haste
Integrity’s at stake the big lie is the play that they make
Dad: (outside voice in the car) Oh, Stephy, your mother would like it just as much if you just made her something, made her a card, you know, draw her a picture and make her a card, with lots of colors. You like to draw. Tell her how much you love her. (inside voice) sorry Stephen but we’re NOT going to the jewelry store.
Me: But Daaaad, I want to get her something nice and she likes earrings, the long ones, can’t I get her some earrings?
Dad: (outside voice) Well I have to stop for gas, you can get it if you’d like.
Me: Can I?!
Dad: (inside voice) nicely done Joe (outside voice) Of course, I need a full tank for work on Monday and you can make sure of it, then we have to stop at Red Mills for a few things your Mom wants us to pick up for dinner tonight.
Me: Then maybe to the earring store?
Dad: (inside voice) damn he’s good (outside voice) Well that’s a little bit out of the way and we don’t want to be late for your Mom right?
Me: No, I gueeeess, she’ll get mad. Tomorrow maybe?
Dad: (outside voice) Well, tomorrow is already Mother’s Day plus we have to get the things she wants and then go to church and then come home for din …
Me: Ooohhhhh Chuuuurch?!!! But it’s Mother’s Day tomorrow!!
Dad: (inside voice) sigh. (outside voice) Church doesn’t think about things like that, you still go no matter what day tomorrow is. I’ll tell you what. We’ll pick up a few things your Mom doesn’t know about.
Me: Like what?
Dad: Some color markers and some paper, the big paper so you can make her that card, a really special one. Maybe even some other things to add to it. So much better than earrings
Me: Really?
Dad: Oh, yes
Me: One of the ones with so many colors? The big box?
Dad: Yeah, but just between you and me of course.
Me: Oh … of course … of course? … oh, of course … Yes.
Dad: (inside voice) whewww … wow, I hope Red Mills has some flowers.
Not quite the same Ma, but Happy Mother’s Day. You too Sis. Love ya.
I get no greater joy than a Friday night … really Steve, you don’t say … sorry, I guess that’s kind of an obvious thing right? duh? huh? Friday? But not something like, say, a Friday of my youth where stupid might have been my wingman and no matter how I may have tried to corral him he still remained stupid.
No, I get no greater joy now than a Friday night solo and maybe a new thing (stupid? Love ya brother, you had your moments, but … oh, and you still owe me 20 bucks by the way … ) or even a not new thing. Maybe just some simple words or the Magnum reboot season four, it should be tonight if it’s not taking that annoying seeming random week off or maybe Blue Bloods the same case (is it just me or is it too funny cool that a show with Tom Selleck is preceded by a Magnum P.I. reboot? … yeah, probably just me).
But a new thing for me tonight is a bit of tune, an attempt at saying something at a Friday, things, pieces sung in my little studio and emailed home followed by a somewhat late car ride and late cat hello’s and late cat food bowls and late apologies for such and a soon to be one mindedness with headphones and an editing.
And it doesn’t even have to be any good.
I get no greater joy than a Friday night.
(this one is for all the conservatives out there who somehow feel that THEY’RE being persecuted in their beliefs by not being allowed to dictate how everyone else lives – Fuck you)
(Yes, I realize today is Tuesday for this “So Then Sunday” post … what of it?! … but these “So Then’s” are my take on a Throwback Thursday kinda thing, that I occasionally do on Sundays re-posting older bits that is happening on a Tuesday here instead and yes, I do sometimes eventually wonder what the hell day it is)
From Facebook, Sunday May 1st where I linked this older post:
In talking with a good friend at work recently about, well, nothing really, just the talking that gets you through the day, in a good way mind you, the best of talk, that talk of that nothing and some everything, he mentioned having to log into the “portal” of his medical account or something of the sort, like “portal” is somehow a normal thing.
It made me think of this post from a couple of years ago.
When I recently had an allergic reaction to a medicine I’ve been taking for just a short period of time that blew my face up into a bulbous early Halloween costume winner I was relieved by a couple of things.
One, there was the relief after the urgent care Doc gave a diagnosis, that was then confirmed by my doctor, of it simply being said allergic reaction and that it wasn’t something that was … ya know … gonna dead me.
And two, I was relieved that my “bold” “dangerous” “fierce” “had us trembling under the bed” new look, as some influencers and trendies may have exclaimed, didn’t last very long, and, more importantly, not long enough for the villagers down in the town to make the discovery of the new monster up on the hill forcing them in anger and fear to their woodsheds and barns for torches and pitchforks and Sharpee’s for crudely fashioned and misspelled signs.
But of course that relief couldn’t be allowed to last very long now could it, as later on that afternoon, when checking my bank account online I realized that instead of me just paying my 40 dollar co-pay before I was seen, I had somehow, accidentally, paid my entire balance of 1300 hundred dollars instead. Son of a bitch.
Yeah, that came as QUIIIIIIITE a shock, even more so than my lumpy, just not quite right porridge face, though for those of you who know me I’m sure you don’t find such an accidental occurrence all that surprising, but that would have caused some serious issues in the Land of Steve if I couldn’t get it reversed.
Eventually I was able to get things worked out and get my money back but in the process I also realized, shit!, I have a balance of 1300 bucks with these folks, so I asked the woman who assisted me if I could set up a monthly thing, like I have with a number of creditors for medical bills stemming from my hospital limbo shuffling slow hallway hospital socks for nine days discovered adrenal deficiency something or other requiring a daily steroid dose now vacation a few years ago. I asked if could set something up for, say, 25 bucks a month, like I do with the others only to be told that they don’t set up automatic payments for an amount as small as that because, of course, why would they? I mean if you’re gonna keep up appearances of being part of the remarkably unaffordable world of U.S healthcare you gotta even have payment plan standards that are difficult.
I figured though, that I would just go to this company’s website, find my account and start paying this 25 bucks on my own. I’d get the small money ball rolling at least. Easy right? HeHeHe. Oh, you are so gullible my friends. No, first thing I discovered, and I haven’t been to the site in a while, not since I set up the account years ago, was that they’ve changed their password requirements “FOR YOUR SECURITY” as well as added some new steps of verifying who you are.
Now let’s get one thing straight, and I don’t think I’m alone here, I DON’T WANT TO CHANGE MY FUCKING PASSWORD!!! And it’s not like this is some monetary account, like my checking or my HSA or that stash in the Caymen’s from that last bank job (the one Billy almost fucked up – and I SAID “don’t think Billy, please just don’t fucking think, just drive the car Billy … just … drive … the … fucking … car”) or the stock investment portfolio I don’t want to brag on about. I mean, what’s the concern here? That some no goodster online meanie person is going to hack my account and do what? Pay my bill?
And I don’t want to come up with a new password with a minimum whatever the hell they’re asking for now, like 37 characters, a capital letter, a number, a symbol, any town in Bulgaria but spelled backwards and a trucker handle from the 70’s.
And the other new security measures. 5 questions? Really??!!
Well, and I don’t care if you all know, but my first girlfriend, my first pet, my second Grandma on my mother’s side, my third Grandad on my dad’s side and my fourth Elementary school after I was kicked out the first three are all, coincidentally, named Bob.
But, once you get past all of this, you are then ready to log into … the Portal?!
Ok but no, hell no, that’s the last straw. It’s NOT a freakin’ Portal!!! it’s just me logging into my account at a website! If I’m going to enter any type of “Portal” it’s going be something space age and futuristic and all science fictiony and shit. It’s going to transport me to another dimension, take me to the future, drop me into a world that isn’t as batshit crazy and astoundingly dumb as this current one, it’s going whisk me away to a universe with all the rainbow of colors alien chicks Captain Kirk slept with (I’ll bring condoms though, the large size, just in case, I mean ya never know what weirdness might arise in this strange new universe. Plus, love James T an’ all, but I don’t trust where he’s been) but it’s definitely NOT going be my boring and depressing account, life, at a medical company’s website with a history that just shows me getting old with a daunting balance.
Well, anyway, I stopped at “Portal” and closed things out before it spirited me away to someplace even more exciting than my medical bills, like maybe the details of my bankruptcy 7 years ago or my tax return history.
Hi and welcome to the Attic, I'm Frankenberry of said Blog Title and I write of just my everyday here, sometimes funny, sometimes heart felt, sometimes angry, sometimes funny again because, well, who don't like funny, thoughts on getting older and sometimes stuff that's just kinda shit. I pen and sing the occasional parody tune, sometimes I even get a little poetic. If you're joining me here I thank you, but just mind your head and feet and keep an eye out for my little Bella and Cricket The Blind as well as the memories of Mimi the Quirky, of Blink The Lil' Kit, Grayson the Mighty, Shoes the Big Orange, Shana-Girl, Benny Good Man Benny Brown, Merlin & Bob. Wouldn't want you step on them or anything ... 'cause then I might just have to throw you down the stairs ... damned humans.
Hi and welcome to the Attic, I'm Frankenberry of said Blog Title and I write of just my everyday here, sometimes funny, sometimes heart felt, sometimes angry, sometimes funny again because, well, who don't like funny, thoughts on getting older and sometimes stuff that's just kinda shit. I pen and sing the occasional parody tune, sometimes I even get a little poetic. If you're joining me here I thank you, but just mind your head and feet and keep an eye out for my little Bella and Cricket The Blind as well as the memories of Mimi the Quirky, of Blink The Lil' Kit, Grayson the Mighty, Shoes the Big Orange, Shana-Girl, Benny Good Man Benny Brown, Merlin & Bob. Wouldn't want you step on them or anything ... 'cause then I might just have to throw you down the stairs ... damned humans.
Hi and welcome to the Attic, I'm Frankenberry of said Blog Title and I write of just my everyday here, sometimes funny, sometimes heart felt, sometimes angry, sometimes funny again because, well, who don't like funny, thoughts on getting older and sometimes stuff that's just kinda shit. I pen and sing the occasional parody tune, sometimes I even get a little poetic. If you're joining me here I thank you, but just mind your head and feet and keep an eye out for my little Bella and Cricket The Blind as well as the memories of Mimi the Quirky, of Blink The Lil' Kit, Grayson the Mighty, Shoes the Big Orange, Shana-Girl, Benny Good Man Benny Brown, Merlin & Bob. Wouldn't want you step on them or anything ... 'cause then I might just have to throw you down the stairs ... damned humans.
Hi and welcome to the Attic, I'm Frankenberry of said Blog Title and I write of just my everyday here, sometimes funny, sometimes heart felt, sometimes angry, sometimes funny again because, well, who don't like funny, thoughts on getting older and sometimes stuff that's just kinda shit. I pen and sing the occasional parody tune, sometimes I even get a little poetic. If you're joining me here I thank you, but just mind your head and feet and keep an eye out for my little Bella and Cricket The Blind as well as the memories of Mimi the Quirky, of Blink The Lil' Kit, Grayson the Mighty, Shoes the Big Orange, Shana-Girl, Benny Good Man Benny Brown, Merlin & Bob. Wouldn't want you step on them or anything ... 'cause then I might just have to throw you down the stairs ... damned humans.
Hi and welcome to the Attic, I'm Frankenberry of said Blog Title and I write of just my everyday here, sometimes funny, sometimes heart felt, sometimes angry, sometimes funny again because, well, who don't like funny, thoughts on getting older and sometimes stuff that's just kinda shit. I pen and sing the occasional parody tune, sometimes I even get a little poetic. If you're joining me here I thank you, but just mind your head and feet and keep an eye out for my little Bella and Cricket The Blind as well as the memories of Mimi the Quirky, of Blink The Lil' Kit, Grayson the Mighty, Shoes the Big Orange, Shana-Girl, Benny Good Man Benny Brown, Merlin & Bob. Wouldn't want you step on them or anything ... 'cause then I might just have to throw you down the stairs ... damned humans.
Hi and welcome to the Attic, I'm Frankenberry of said Blog Title and I write of just my everyday here, sometimes funny, sometimes heart felt, sometimes angry, sometimes funny again because, well, who don't like funny, thoughts on getting older and sometimes stuff that's just kinda shit. I pen and sing the occasional parody tune, sometimes I even get a little poetic. If you're joining me here I thank you, but just mind your head and feet and keep an eye out for my little Bella and Cricket The Blind as well as the memories of Mimi the Quirky, of Blink The Lil' Kit, Grayson the Mighty, Shoes the Big Orange, Shana-Girl, Benny Good Man Benny Brown, Merlin & Bob. Wouldn't want you step on them or anything ... 'cause then I might just have to throw you down the stairs ... damned humans.
Hi and welcome to the Attic, I'm Frankenberry of said Blog Title and I write of just my everyday here, sometimes funny, sometimes heart felt, sometimes angry, sometimes funny again because, well, who don't like funny, thoughts on getting older and sometimes stuff that's just kinda shit. I pen and sing the occasional parody tune, sometimes I even get a little poetic. If you're joining me here I thank you, but just mind your head and feet and keep an eye out for my little Bella and Cricket The Blind as well as the memories of Mimi the Quirky, of Blink The Lil' Kit, Grayson the Mighty, Shoes the Big Orange, Shana-Girl, Benny Good Man Benny Brown, Merlin & Bob. Wouldn't want you step on them or anything ... 'cause then I might just have to throw you down the stairs ... damned humans.
frankenberrysattic.com 