Month: August 2023

So, I have 3 PC chairs.

I know you’re saying “But Frankenberry, you are just one man, with just one ass and two elbows for the resting while PC’ing, how could you possibly need 3 PC chairs? And isn’t this just one more example of grotesque American over-indulgence that we should try to avoid to stop painting ourselves us in some sort of grossly privileged light just in the form of excess computer furniture?”

And I reply “Yes, I am but just one man with one ass and two elbows for the resting while PC’ing … but I have cats”

“Oh well shit! Ok, our bad … you should have mentioned that up front … sorry we judged. This is just practical then?”

“Indeed”

“Genius … apologies again”

“No worries”

“Have we shown you pictures of Mr Bimbles in our PC chair by the way? (though this standing to do our own PC’ing reply here is quite uncomfortable)”

Discovered earlier the actual measurable expense of me being lazy.

Meant, earlier in the day, to head over to Tractor Supply Company on my break to pick up a new bag of pellets, Tractor Supply Company horse bedding pellets as they are labeled, that can serve as a fine kitty litter. Been using them for quite a while now, wonderful things these pellets, well, as far as “wonderful” can be described to something your cats pee and poop on.

On my way home though I suddenly realized that I had not done such, but I realized in time, time enough that I could have made a couple of right hand turns and backtracked a bit to pick them up then instead.

But, after a day that was a day, a headache inducing one, I just wanted to be lazy and keep going straight, wanting none of this couple of right hand turns backtracking nonsense to get to Tractor Supply and then another right and a U-ey to get back on home track.

Rationalization: You can just stop at PetSmart instead Steve, which is on your straight home ride way, they have pellets there too … plus you … ummmm … could use with stopping there anyway for some new Bella and Cricket food right? Oh, ok … yeah, that’s right … need some new Bella and Cricket food anyway (I didn’t) and sure, PetSmart can be rather expensive but you just got paid last week and haven’t blown it all yet on food and rent and hookers and how you will have none of this couple of right hand turns backtracking thing to add unnecessary time to your ride home … right? Oh, right indeed Mr Rationalization!

Actual measurable cost of lazy?

Hold on … math … wow, this shit hurts my head … hold on still … hey math is hard so hold your numbers horses will ya?! … math … math … math … (break out the calculator that you were told you were never going to be allowed to use)

Or word problems … If the train leaves the station carrying Tractor Supply bags of pellets traveling at 45 miles an hour in a car with horses …

Tractor Supply Company horse bedding pellets that can make a fine kitty litter? $8 for a 40lb bag = 20 cents per pound.

PetSmart other brand of pellets? $16 for a 25lb bag = 65 cents per pound.

Lazy and the rationalization that comes to support it? Jesus lazy, you’re an expensive mother f’er!!

Rationalization: But did you get home in lazy good time?

Ok, so there is that but …

Ok, a So Then Sunday

A re-visit here on a Sunday of a post from a Friday about a Friday a year or so ago (can it still be Friday by the way?)

And a tune.

To Cheap Trick’s “I Want You To Want Me”

I like the “Ohhhh’s!”

(link below)

(this one is for all the conservatives out there who somehow feel that THEY’RE being persecuted in their beliefs by not being allowed to dictate how everyone else lives)

So a longtime friend, Rick, posted at Facebook not too long ago the sentiment “Uplift your friends, they are amazing”, something we could all use in doing more of, especially these days, almost at exactly the same time that I had done something to just that effect here in the Attic, for a co-worker. Longtime friends tend to unintentionally find themselves on the same page with this sort of stuff, thus, one of the reasons behind longtime friendships explained.

Anyway, with that “uplift your friends” thought in mind, a something then for a different co-worker, friend, Bob Miller, host of one of our Morning Shows here in the building, WBPM.

I’ve known Bob for many radio years and he is one of those co-worker friends that you are truly disappointed if you, say, come into work only to find they have that day off that you then curse for being so selfish as to ruin your day by them not being around.

Anyway twice, I was talking to Bob yesterday morning and he was telling me of his gig from the night before of WBPM being the host station for a night at the ballpark with our local Hudson Valley Renegades, a NY Yankees affiliate.

Now at these events, whatever station might be the one on hand for the night, the jock representing the station is always in line to throw out the first pitch with that fanfared announcement from the P.A. guy Rick Zolzer “Zolz” of “Please welcome now, (echo echo echo … hehe) to throw out the first pitch, so and so from so and so radio station!!” or something of the sort, followed always by raucous applause and fans clamoring at the front row of seats for autographs after that first pitch is thrown.

Ok, well … but still, it is a pretty cool moment, I’ve been there.

But when Bob was recounting his night after I had asked him how it went he told me that while he was hanging out in the WBPM spot with the WBPM vehicle, greeting game goers, he saw a dad and his son playing catch in the parking lot. He said he approached the dad and son and asked the dad if maybe his son might like to throw out the first pitch. He even told the young fan and his dad, to help alleviate any of the young fan’s newfound sudden nervousness, that he would accompany them out to the mound.

Now Bob couched all of this in “I didn’t really want to do it anyway (the first pitch) Mr F so the kid helped me out” but I could tell he was pretty pleased about how this went down, pretty proud to tell me about the cool thing he had done.

So, a young baseball fan got chance to take the mound at a Minor League ballpark, with his dad, in front of the crowd at a Minor League ballpark and throw out the first pitch to a catching prospect in the NY Yankees system … and then get to keep the ball (and also possibly save Bob Miller the embarrassment of bouncing one or hitting a P.R. assistant).

Nicely done Bob, nicely done my friend.

And nicely done as well Rick on this “uplift a friend” thought.

It should be a regular “thing”, for all of us.

Cricket the Blind: Hey Bella? Where you at?

Bella: I’m over here on my chair, to your left.

Cricket: Ok cool … ummm, where is my “left?”

Bella: (sigh) the direction you always do your weird little Cricket circles in.

Cricket: Right!

Bella: No, left … wait, ya know what Cricket? Just say “correct”, gonna stop this now before it turns into some some sort of annoying comedy routine.

Cricket: Right! … sorry … correct!

Bella: Now, just sit there, point your head forward and use your nose.

Cricket: My nose? why am I using my …

Bella: ‘cause I just ate some Tuna Fancy Feast for dinner, like you.

Cricket: (a head loll, nose up) Oh, there you are!! Whoa, you could use a cat tic-tac or something girlfriend, sheesh!

Bella: Shut up. Whattaya got?

Cricket: (excitedly) did you know today is International cat day?!

Bella: Yes, and I’m annoyed.

Cricket: Why?

Bella: Well, why do all those fancy schmancy ‘international’ cats with accents and stylish hats and snobbish attitudes get a day and not us, you know, us regular ol’ Continental U.S. cats?

Cricket: Well, and I’m usually not one to correct you, forgive me, but I think the ‘International’ here is meant to cover all of us, all of us cats on this big blue yarn ball.

Bella: You mean it’s not just for those overseas cats in their hoity-toity international cat places?

Cricket: Nope, the whole bouncing bell ball of cats.

Bella: Ok, well I feel a bit better now. Do you think Steve posted some pictures of us then, you know, in honor of us and our day?

Cricket: I’m sure he did, plus it would be a little strange, with all the pictures he posts and stories he tells of us on all the other days of the year, that he would forget a day as important as this one.

Bella: You’re probably right. Plus, I like when he tells us he made us famous again today.

Cricket: Me too.

Bella: We should though try to figure out a way to get him out of the house a little more. I mean it is a LOT of pictures.

Cricket: Good point.

Bella ponders her Bella world: Ahhhh life, the universe, that squirrel. Who are we, what is this all about? Who is “cat”? Who are “cat”? Should I maybe go with a salad on occasion, hit the gym? Where are my shoes? Oh, wait, right, that’s a Steve thing, back to existential cat.

Breeze, from whence do you come, who bringeth you, (I’m a cat, I didn’t say ‘whence’ or ‘bringeth’ and who talks like that anyway?) is there a cat greater than all of us, greater than me? Is there still anything left in my bowl? I’ll check later.

Early morning sunshine, the glory, should I clean myself or maybe stretch or even just continue to sit and wonder? What is the nature of all of this? Why do I like bells in plastic balls so much or crumpled toilet paper wrappers? Did I mention that squirrel?

No, seriously, there’s a squirrel. Look, he’s right there!

Who is “cat”? Why am I “cat”?

Wow, this is exhausting …

I am not a handy guy, like do stuff around the house handy kinda guy, something proven in stark things are falling apart relief when I briefly owned a house with a better half and her son years ago.

So strange then that I woke this morning from out of a dream where I was having a conversation with some guy in a big echoing warehousy home improvement type place about why we were there and what we were each working on now, what were we going to do this weekend. A real guy’s guy conversation with plenty of “hmmm’s” and knowing nods and talk of power tools.

Now I don’t recall what he said were in his plans but I nodded approvingly in that guy’s guy approving nod sorta way, a guy’s guy nod that says “cool” and then, with complete and utter confidence, I responded when he asked of MY plans with “I’m going to freezeline my wood grain vinyl in petches”. ??? (I know, THAT’S what I remember from a dream?! That’s what I freakin’ remember enough to write down?! What the …?!)

To which he said “NICE!”

Whoa, hold on then … he was impressed … so it seems though, in this guy’s guy home improvement project dreamland gibberish world, that I know my shit! Go dreaming home improvement me!!

Well, If I somehow return to that big echoing warehousy type place later or sometime soon I am REALLY interested as to what my next home improvement project might be.

And I live in an apartment by the way.