Wonderin’ All A Jumble

Ya know when I got home the other night I wondered of where I had been. I knew that I had been at PetSmart finding a 12 pack of Savory Centers for Bella and Cricket to satisfy that bad cat dad particular food forgotten that gets me back into good cat graces, I was at Stop and Shop for what turned out to be their last bag of that new litter that works for the both of them, not the clumping stuff any longer that most probably has some toxic elements, cracked pine kitty litter that smells of old trees and adventures, I grabbed some Steve stuff.

But I wondered of where I had been and how I got here. Spud the Orange and Lumpy and even Penny of the 6 third bay cats welcoming me home in a slow rush from that third bay garage to a pet at my hip while the dogs clamored inside and out front at the hearing of a car pull up.

I was at Subway where they wouldn’t take my coupon and then at Adams where that lack of that Subway coupon cost me quite a few dollars per pound and Moms and Dads sat with their kids in an open air Summer ice cream dream, where my open windowed sing along with the new Rave-Ups, 32 years later, almost as if they never left, took a moment’s pause at a turn of a key and a step out of the car though still lingering singing in my head.

I wondered of where I had been back in a Rave-Ups glory day being all mid 80’s and she took a moment to size me up wondering of a what could have been before it even started.

I sat on the edge of the bed while Mom cradled with soft hard words how my broken heart could manage going back to school one more time after realizing Jay was right next Summer door just graduated. She was right there in a local town with a name I knew. … but no longer knew me.

I wondered of where I had been.

I asked Emily across a long bed if I could just sleep for a little while longer, it was a gloriously long bed.

I asked if I could just lay for a moment.

I miss that.

It was 1989 and I was being all 1989 post fire my shorts and some shitty t-shrts being pretty much all I had left but comfy for a moment.

I wondered of where I had been Fil letting me bartend at his rock and roll place being all 1993 and that too large Miami ‘M’ U baseball hat behind the bar, the only one I ever wore that wasn’t Black & Gold. It was just a good hat that sat just right, no affinity for U of Miami. You just always hold onto and wear hats that sit just right no matter how you came about them, even if they weren’t Black & Gold. They’re hard to find abut easy to live in once you do.

I started my paper route being all 1975 at that begins right at Putnam County Golf course’s driveway to run along Hill Street down to Bullet Hole Road and a few houses past, and the fanciest of bike as I remember, well, as fancy as a bike could get then that let you deliver newspapers when newspapers still got delivered by 11 year olds in an idyllic way. It had a basket. I loved that basket. It held stuff more than just the papers.

I wondered of where I had been.

I wondered of a comfy bed and sheets I didn’t even want to sleep on or under at Brian’s perfectly clean meticulous Pittsburgh place when I crashed there on Friday and Saturdays during the day (still living in West Virginia at that moment) with my first real gig the imposition enough to make me want to just lay on top until a radio overnight called being all 1991.

I pretty much moved into the attic away from Maria and Jagger and the Jackson and Brady pups and my passed dear Shana Girl knowing that it was only a matter of time. But there were cats and I was all 2012 with a sad knowing slide upstairs.

I sat in a bathtub in that railroad apartment in Dayton OH and cried while Merlin tapped at my face, being all 1996, showing Benny how to do it just in case I sat for a second or third or umpteenth time at the thoughts of my marriage being done. The learning.

I wondered of any year (s) while I built sound with my voice in tow at a 50,000 watt Hudson Valley radio station to remind that I wonder of such wonderings of where Mom is now, in her head, of any year (s), no cradling of broken hearts and soft hard words to tell me to buck up now but maybe with a still fleeting recognition of that voice.

I got all 2022, Spring/Summer and wondered where I’d been as Beck and I drove home along faintly remembered teenaged roads, shortcuts, though shortcuts to what I couldn’t tell ya any longer, just excuses to drive, but maybe just that, shortcuts, away from Mom’s new spot, that came out to remembered places, unlike Mom’s no longer remembrances now, the site of old Rodack’s and sandwiches post Church, a sort of reward for having to endure Church, with tomato and mayo and salt and pepper and a coke, even past old homes on a paperboy’s route where Mom was Mom waiting when done and Dad held her close.

I wondered of wondering, wandering, wondering and wondered of …

… jumbled things. I jumble things, jumble things, get things all in a jumble here wondering of where I’ve been though, as a lifelonger best of mine, Lori, mentioned at a draft of this, it’s not even so much the jumble of where I’d been but how did I, how did we, get here?

Yesterday Today Jan 6 (two songs)

So when I finally got home the other night and fed the girls and myself (different canned things, Fancy Feast them and Beefaroni me – I’m not all that crazy cat lady guy there just yet – though some of their stuff does smell quite enticing) and got myself sat down, I checked in in the Attic here only to find, whoaaaaa, a bunch of new views and this after two days of view bupkus replete with crickets.

Seems there was an out of the blue deep dive on some of my parody tunes, 22 of them with almost 100 “downloads” of whatever that means and a couple of views of a few old regular posts including one from 12 years ago of when Maria and Jagger and I added puppies to the already existing furry mix at the household then … Jackson & Brady (they’re still dogging by the way though I’m sure just a little bit slower these days – with ya there old friends – miss ya).

Now, mind you, I’m not complaining about any eye or ear balls, however random coming they may seem to be, and it was kind of cool to be reminded of this post, Spring Sprung Puppies, after so many years, a bit of a melancholy even set in at the reminder, but I noted that the top tune on the downloads list was something I had done not too long ago, right after that attempt to circumvent our election with a violent coup at the behest of a President and a bit down the list was another from around the same time that shared the same theme.

It’s that thing that’s been in the news lately by the way, that January 6th Commission and the public hearings you may have heard of or seen, all 20 million of you (just click away from Fox News for a sec) unless of course you’re Jim Jordan or any of the other Orange discipled sycophants who claim “Real America” doesn’t care, that they care more about the price of gas and that this all a partisan witch hunt.

You live in your world Gym and we’ll live in ours … the real one.

So a couple of tunes that were in the moment then and may still carry a point.

(to Fun Lovin’ Criminals “Scooby Snacks” from 1996 whose video sampled some quotes from Quentin Tarantino flicks)

Trumpy Snacks

“Everybody be cool, this is an insurrection!”

Don and lack facts set the track long ago   

His act election taint would be the big blow  

After mail in lies re-votes’ll be where the enemy goes

He exulted to podiums

Future fraud agendum

And the lies don’t matter much

He bought with no cost

Small minds all loudly and blindly so


Donnie Donnie Donnie

(Is this some Fascist T-Love thing happening here people or what?)

When loss came the long game went into play

Cries rang out loud … that this was a no go

He couldn’t have lost … hell he even said so

Statistically not possible and numbers were his go go

Made up as they were he couldn’t have been wrong  

They thought singin’ all dumb dumb days long

So they listened to him being done so so wrong

Not to just to him but them that was a no no

“Look, I don’t know anything about any fucking election fraud
You can torture me all you want”

“Torture you, that’s good, that’s a good idea, I like that

Runnin’ around spoutin’ lies all whacked off on Trumpy snacks

We’ll take your commands

Rush the gates all whacked off on Trumpy Snacks

And Pence don’t give a fuck about a noose’s close call

If self respect was in height he’s only inches tall

He op-eds big lie, like he’s money

Though Trump had hoped his feet dangled funny

Ron Johnson chimes new times explanation

Antifa hell bent on insurrection

And try blame Pelosi for not calling in Nat guard

10,000 strong Trump numbers lie song

Revisionists don’t care much what they get wrong

Say it it enough and it’ll last days years long

But in the meantime you’re votes we leave charred

Suppression will and always be in their yard

Cause they can’t win without playing that card

Trumpy, we need you, are we fools?

Nah, you’re tools

Runnin’ around spoutin’ lies all whacked off on Trumpy snacks

We’ll take your commands

Rush the gates all whacked off on Trumpy Snacks

Muddy the waters make the rounds

All whacked off on Trumpy Snacks

Nothin’ to see pundits sound

All whacked off on Trumpy Snacks  

You got nothin’ on him


It was no big deal


(to Stevie Wonder’s “I Wish”)

Dark Days (they wish)

Looking back on lost years and an orange headed lyin’ boy

Whose one and only con-cern was power and just how earn from ploy

We watched and listened sadly, the starkness of the thing

That had support too many, discipled GOP

Truth went out the window, propaganda became the truth de jour

Echoed many sides now, podiums to pundits even went on tour

The press tried too late stem tide, point out all the lies

But they opened up that window, just tryin’ now save hides

They were dark days … you’d … think we’d want no more

Some truly sad … days … attack norms at the core 

But some still want … those … days to darken doors

Now hold seditious dreams, yeah, they hold a torch 

They hold a torch

The time came to be counted, a real count not a one that aimed at steal

Enough of us did stand up, a threat was posed and seen saw to be real 

But even then some hundred plus signed on to a deal 

To stand with former power mad with fraud as the new spiel

That led to insurrection, encouraged violence for a new rule

With help also from inside who even took some to tour of new school

Useful idiots follow dumb as useful tools

The Gaetz, Hawley’s, McCarthy’s fools who know the fools

They were dark days … you’d … think they’d want no more

Some truly sad … days … attack norms at the core 

But some still want … those … days to darken doors

Now hold seditions dreams, yeah they hold a torch 

They hold a torch

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doodah doo

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo

Trump: “Statistically impossible to have lost the 2020 Election”

“Big protest in DC on January 6th. Be there, will be wild!”

Olivia Troye: “very concerned that there will be violence on January 6th because the president himself encourages it.”

Ted “Bad Beard Breath” Cruz: “We will not go quietly into the night. We will defend liberty. And we are going to win.”

Trump and Jr.: “fight like hell.”

Jr.: “We need to fight.”

Trump: “They’re not taking this White House. We’re going to fight like hell.”

“… and we fight, we fight like hell, and if you don’t fight like hell, you’re not going to have a country anymore.”

Giuliani: “Let’s have trial by combat´

Mo “Box of Rocks” Brooks: “… Today is the day American patriots start taking down names and kicking ass.”

Trump: “American Patriots,”

“… We love you, you’re very special.” 

Trump: “These are the things and events that happen when a sacred landslide election victory is so unceremoniously & viciously stripped away from great patriots who have been badly & unfairly treated for so long. Go home with love & in peace. Remember this day forever!

So Then Sunday … Some Amazing Grace and Chuck Comfort Food

Comfort food for the watch I should say. Been feeling quite a bit under the last week or so (no, not the dreaded), my chest reminding me of past mistakes and their consequences or maybe just a nagging, persistent bastard of a cold or maybe both, and I needed a something, anything for a semblance of chicken noodle soup. Something, anything for said comfort.

So a go to feel good it was then as I have go to’d before and remembering a piece of mine from a year and half ago. A post about a long lost new review of Amazing Grace and Chuck while I watch it again with a chicken noodle soup’s bowl’s clutched pillow … for the drama of it.

Gotta have a bit of drama when you’re sick right, even if no one other than cats see?

I can never get enough of this film.


(from January 2021)

Amazing Grace and Chuck … A Long Lost New Review

When I was courting my ex-wife, yes, I said courting, what of it, I hoped to get myself on the ins and into the good graces with Mr and Mrs P (Danielle’s last name started with such) as any gentleman caller would when it comes to a Mom and a Dad. I thought of anything I could to ingratiate myself to them as I already knew the question of their daughter would come, I knew that from the first time I saw her, yeah one of those, across a bar at Station Square in Pittsburgh where we both worked, she at a little cigar shop and me part time at a little CD store, “Jukes”. I knew right then and there as I decided on a stop for a beer and a snack and a sit down before home that that question would come eventually, maybe with a bended knee, maybe with a wild plan or maybe even with a simple over lunch and a “hey, by the way would ya like to …” I don’t really recall exactly what that moment was, I just knew that it would and did happen. I don’t know of any other time that I was as in love as I was then … suddenly.

I’d eventually be introduced to Mom and Dad and would be invited to the house doing my best to cut down any awkwardness by, well, being awkward. It went awkwardly, but I’d like to think that I’m a fairly likeable guy just with awkward moments for stuff like this that can maybe be almost endearing and soon we were all watching the X-Files together with me on the floor leaning against the couch next to Fish the dog, Danielle behind me at my shoulders, her Dad in his captain’s chair and her Mom at her side and we talked between commercial breaks of the goings on of the show but also about the goings on’s of goings on’s. We would soon have dinners, I would take Fish for walks around a wonderful little suburban dream Mt Lebanon neighborhood, I’d start calling them Mr and Mrs P, I’d meet her sister and her brothers, one of which was a Pennsylvania State Cop who told great cop stories and kept me straight backed (my own choice just in case) and we slowly came to be family which was so welcome for a guy whose own family was back in New York 500 + miles away and who had been alone for quite some time.

It was around then that I discovered that Mr P was a fan of Jamie Lee Curtis, quietly, as if Mrs P didn’t really know. We all spend looks, innocently, and Jamie Lee Curtis was Mr P’s look. When I told him of the smallest of movies that had Jamie Lee in it, that he didn’t know of and made my way to a Blockbuster one night he lit up, well, as lit up as Mr P could be as he was a pretty reserved, quiet guy.

Amazing Grace and Chuck

My buddy Rick, the editor of the school paper at WVU and a guy who helped save my life with a place to stay and a friendship after the fire that had me standing in my underwear in a late 80’s December watching things burn and go away, including “Bob” my first cat (I’m so sorry Bob) who allowed me some latitude after not dismissing me at my first off the street stranger’s walk into the paper’s offices with queries of writing for him asked me not too long ago if I had a copy of a review I wrote of this movie 30 + years ago.

Now note that I am an awful movie critic as they range only from yadda yadda suck to yadda yadda cool. Movies and words about them are Rick’s purview which he has proven over the years and proven really well. But me? Not so much. I don’t know all the such words and phrases and metaphors and analogies and other such’s that movie critics use, seem to have a library of some sort of, no, I just resort instead to that yadda yadda suck or cool. But I did write a review of this one back then, a one of those hidden gems type reviews that was actually Ok. I could probably find it for you Rick but that would require me going through the storage bins that have a lifetime’s worth of shit buried in them just becoming things that you move from place to place, giving them a tour of new stops in your small world, always promising yourself that you’ll finally explore them at the next place but eventually just become heavy things you keep moving and placing in windows for cats to survey their world on with a towel or two layed on top for the comfort.

I became “the guy” after that trip to Blockbuster as we watched this fable, this little fairy tale of a movie about nuclear weapons being put aside play out, with a final wondrous Gregory Peck and a couple of equally wondrous movie newcomers, Joshua Zuehlke and Alex English along with William Petersen and the aforementioned Jamie Lee Curtis, a movie that promised what the best of ourselves could be if we would only just allow it.

What a beautiful, heart affirming little film, a one that would have made a Frank Capra proud, though he would have added that Capra touch that could have made it one of the greats.

It’s not one of those “greats”, it is though still damn good and pretty close, but I was reminded at the re-watch this weekend that it is mine, it didn’t/doesn’t have to be great, it just has to be mine and hold memories … and still bring me to tears. Freakin’ thing.

That accepting of the question from Danielle so many years ago now didn’t work out as I would have liked, wished, wanted, planned but I had found a thing that her Dad and I could bond over and her Mom, seeing the connection, bonded with me as well. I miss them.

It’s not the review I wrote years ago that was kind of Ok, not just yadda yadda suck or yadda yadda cool Rick, but maybe this one is a little better and no searching through storage bin cat spots. I can continue to leave them be as they just wait for me to lug them, again, to wherever the next stop on the tour may be.

We Want You To Be We … Re-Post (song)

I know this is something I posted only a few months back but, well, it says stuff and I really like it so a re-post …

(this one is for all the conservatives out there who somehow feel that THEY’RE being persecuted in their beliefs by not being allowed to dictate how everyone else lives – Fuck you)

(to Cheap Trick’s “I Want You To Want Me”)

We Want You … To Be … We

We want you to be we

We need you to be we

We’ll force so please just a-gree

Can’t have you livin’ feelin’ free

We want you to be we

Not right to live to your own de-gree

We know what’s best as only god does decree

We’ll shine up our partisan court, the one that’s been godly bought

Parade them over your free thought, make sure that you are sin free

We’re tired of spending time feelin’ persecuted

We need able dictate how your lives are executed  

It’s not fair to watch you all go about your happy dailies

While we’re forced to fret and live with all your evil failings

We want you to be we

See country the way that it should be

Revisioned right light history

One white and straight you’ll all see

And shine up on all old hurts, of unallowed to convert

Bring handmaids to life, ‘cause we know just what is right

Will we neglect children after grabbing their first real air

Of course cause hypocrisy we’ve got plenty in spare

We’ll only find our end until it is that you all stop tryin’

Pursuit of happiness is up to us to do the decidin’


We’ll work in a morality play’s future dire warnin’

But that future won’t know it from this backwards day future dawnin’


We want you to be we

We need you to be we

We’ll force so please just a-gree

And gay marriage is soon next up on the tee

We want you to be we

We need you to be we

We’ll force so please just a-gree

You’ll thank us soon you’ll all see