Hi and welcome to the Attic, I'm Frankenberry of said Blog Title and I write of just my everyday here, sometimes funny, sometimes heartfelt, sometimes angry, sometimes funny again because, well, who don't like funny, thoughts on getting older and sometimes stuff that's just kinda shit. I pen and sing the occasional parody tune and other songs, sometimes I even get a little bit poetic or short story-etic or something like that. If you're joining me here I thank you, but just mind your head and feet and keep an eye out for my little Bella and Cricket The Blind as well as the memories of Raspberry (Razzy), Mimi the Quirky, of Blink The Lil' Kit, Grayson the Mighty, Shoes the Big Orange, Shana-Girl, Benny Good Man Benny Brown, Merlin & Bob. Wouldn't want you step on them or anything … 'cause then I might just have to throw you down the stairs … damned humans.
Ya know I have been Jonesin’ for the longest time now to get to a new tune, doesn’t matter what, a parody maybe for these current fucked up times, maybe something that rhymes with tariff or Canada or Greenland or King or Vlad or Orban or other small minded little men dictators or ethnic cleansing for a new Riviera or muck Musk muck about with self interest the priority and conflicts be damned even those in China (don’t worry, I can police myself, even in China he says while snaking for China) a something to a cool instrumental I’ve found, maybe, with original lyrics in tow, possibly from a recent poem or short story, something silly even, anything, but I hadn’t quite found a comfy enough studio space in the new digs just yet with a tall enough chair … don’t ask, it’s a thing.
But I did find one.
To “Hit The Road Jack” then.
Hit the Road Facts
Hit the road facts and don’t ya check back no more, no more, no more, no more
Hit the road facts and don’t ya come back no more
.
Wha’d Zuck say?
.
Hit the road facts, time to show you the door, the door, the door, the door
Hit the road facts we, don’t need ya round here no more
.
Ol’ Zucky, Ol’ Zucky don’t treat facts so mean
You’re a coward t’wards the truth like we’ve never seen
If you say facts must go, we’ll prioritize speech ya know
.
What’s that?
.
Hit the road facts, with a barker in tails magaphone and black magic rabbit hat
Hit the road facts and don’t ya Zuck ‘round no more
.
Wha’d right saaaay?!!
.
Hit the road facts, true lies’ll have a brand new day and say and sway the way
Hit the road facts and don’t ya come back no more
.
Now baby listen baby this is newest Reich way
Won’t be stifled by the left who hold lies at bay
Don’t care if they do ‘cause we know the real truth
It’s what we decide, don’t need no sleuth
instead in this brand new age, we’ll paint facts just as we say
.
That’s right!
.
Hit the road facts, and now it’s your time to act, to act, to act, to act
Hit the road facts and throw some money in that hat
.
Wha’d you saaaay!!??
.
Hit the road facts, we’ve reached a new judgment day, this day, no other way
Hit the road facts, ya best get new truths all straight
.
Hit the road facts, and don’t ya check back no more, no more, no more, no more
Hit the road facts and don’t ya come back no more
.
Now Donnie ol’ Donnie and executive O’s
He’ll decree a new future with his MAGA in throes
He’ll rename Gulf’s of Mexico
With a straight face ain’t that beautiful Oh!
.
Hit the road facts, the truth’ll no longer know where’s it’s at, where it’s at, where it’s at
Hit the road facts and don’t bother tippin’ your cap
.
Hit the road facts, an Autocrat’ll tell ya his truth, his truth, his truth, his truth
Hit the road facts, cause democracy he wants lose
.
Now baby baby baby there’s a billionaire class
Who trip over themselves to lipstick his ass
They even paid for the right to grovel new Reich
Hoping keep good his side not dogs he might strike
‘Cause that’s just the new way
Truth’ll have a forced holiday
.
That’s right!
.
Hit the road facts and got’s keep this all straight, all straight, all straight, all straight
Hit the road facts while he makes liberty quake
.
Hit the road facts and don’t ya check back no more, no more, no more, no more
When we all received our first Covid checks, 12 hundred bucks I think it was, back around the time we started mainlining cleaning products and shining ultra violet lights up our asses according to the expert who knew all the sciency shit we needed to know to try and combat this new scourge of the planet, never even considering that WE might be the scourge in the first place and that maybe mother nature had finally figured out a “Fuck you” that didn’t involve great fires or great floods to put out great fires after great floods I bought a new computer.
I know, sorry, a bit anticlimactic there, but I bought a new computer, while sitting uncomfortably on a hot light bulb and feeling a bit lightheaded with a little blood on my tri-cep, to replace my old girl who was just limping along then, holding on to me only for the cat pictures and the power cord and asking that I please not forget her.
Don’t worry girlfriend, I said to her, I will transfer you into this new device and you will have a new life like some new freaky that is just around the corner. Then all the local wildlife started acting a bit wonky, repeating a lot of things that I sort of recognized from half-finished and half-baked things that I had started to write until I realized I was probably doing something wrong.
I mean, it might have just been me, but I don’t think raccoons spouting partial sentences of stuff I had only just started and almost only just remembered I wrote surely wasn’t quite right. Plus they also started taking breaks from their raccoon shenanigans and instead began hanging outside the convenience store with their right hand feets pressed bent kneed flat against walls with remembered cool cigarette wall leans.
Everything went swimmingly for a short while, for like 5 short minutes, until … well, they didn’t. It was then that I realized that of the 9 out of 10 Dells that are, from some old time’s old slogan, still on the road today, the internet and simple word document road, that mine had driven itself off into a ditch.
I weathered and gray haired and took naps (I’m old after all, so the naps were welcome) and I waited for little Delly to catch up with me.
It didn’t happen.
So now I am kind of back at square one as I have, again, bought a new computer, a one that I’ll figg’r how to pay for on Tuesday with an owed hamburger and a one that I am sure will lead me into the promised land of a new PC or laptop in this case, one that actually works with speed and efficiency and doesn’t have me windexing my internal organs for any reason.
Even now though, I am reticent to preach too loudly of the joys of something new that works as it should but I am still excited, like a little kid, and I even started smoking again against a satisfied propped pillow like in a movie (no I didn’t do that) and texted a couple of best friends of my joy, even sending them a picture of BellCrick (the registering of this new wonder asked me to name it … that’s what I gave … BellCrick though I know that sounds like a stream somewhere in Appalachia that don’t take too kindly to the new fangled of ya’lls and ya best watch yawselves
But I was still excited.
Ok, so a pic from a new computer land, a world of speedy wonder now and no longer a halted mystery as to when shit might actually open and stop having me teach innocent cats human words they should never have to learn.
Ok, heavenly horns you ready?
What?
Jesus … (sigh) … Larry are you ready on the heavenly horns?
For what?
Are you high again Larry?
Ummmmm … we’re in the clouds Bill, yeah I’m high
Fuck you Larry, no the horns of the big reveal?
Oh yeah, right, that … On it. Yo Stephens! Wake up, hit the horns!
What??
Ahhhh, son of a bitch (muttering …sometimes ya just gotta do things yourself) … just go back to sleep Stephens. Here ya go Bill …
HORNS OF AN ANGRY TRAFFIC JAM
SHIT!!! Sorry Bill, wrong horns
Never mind Larry (muttering … don’t listen girls, close your innocent cat ears … useless motherfuckers rasser frasser) …
Bella: Innocent cat ears?! Dude, seriously?! I’ve been living with you for 13 years, word innocence is long, long lost on this cat.
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My sister, Beck, every holiday season, goes to Shutterfly with a boatload of pictures in hand and builds a calendar. She’s been doing this since even before Shutterfly existed, she just waited, patiently, builds a calendar as a “stocking stuffer” Christmas present for all of us, each month of the year replete with family photos, about six or seven or so per month.
It is such a welcome calendar relief as opposed to the last minute calendar gifts you search for at the mall to check off your last minute end of list lazies at the kiosk at the bottom of the escalator “Oh, I’m sure cousin Janine would love this one of puppies or Uncle Frank would like this one of frogs, or maybe long lost cousin Constance who you just discovered wasn’t actually dead and would be a new guest at Christmas dinner, this one of “Fight Clubs from ‘Round the World” would fit her present bill as you had heard rumors.
No, my Sis puts these together every year and to tell ya the truth it is the one gift that I look forward to the most. It is the one that truly just keeps on giving, every month, for a whole year, and I don’t look forward, instead waiting on monthly surprises of the reminders of fun and family and friends and for this year, as you look up to your right at your desk, you find your Overlord, Jillian in the Month of March (a band name there if there ever was one).
Yes Overlord Jillian, I believe in you in Overlord Jillian, can you stop looking at me like that Overlord Jillian please, your mocking, scrunchy lipped scrutiny of this simple man is most unwelcome and unwarranted Overlord Jillian. NO, I did NOT do something stupid … well, not this time.
All hail the Overlord!!!
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Started my day earlier than usual today, around 5am, a Friday, a one where I couldn’t sleep and just said fuck it and peeled a Cricket the Cat off my chest and, after I showered and got set, I grabbed a pair of of cargo shorts from last Spring/Summer. Let’s just say that if I had attempted to wear them for an entire day I would have been singing in a higher pitch by the end of it.
They no longer fit, not by even a mile or a pants size or two or three by even a three mile couple of hundred feet. I really, as per my last post, need to do some walking, at least, just start.
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Went to Ocean State Job Lot for some new shorts then, armed with the realization that my old has caught up with me, that I need to get my fat ass out of the house and do a walking circuit or two around the neighborhood on a regular basis. Maybe even say Hi to people and pet their dogs along my way.
My sister has three cats, one of which is Rikki who I call “Chunky Pants” a furry, wobble wobble walk wobble wobble walk wobble wobble furry bowling ball with the head of a cat who has now said to me, with her upwards look “That Chunky Pants shit ain’t really all that funny anymore now is it Mister? And I am a lady thank you, don’t be talking about my weight!”
Oh, Ocean State also had some sneaks, just past the foreign crackers and foreign fruits and nuts and just before the rugs. And it does some fine rugs by the way, Ocean State does, but never ones large enough to roll a body into so you know they are legitimate, at least I don’t think so, but, to be safe I’m not really gonna check. But the sneaks? They’re London Fog, whodaknew? I mean I could make deals on bridges in WWII or Cold War flicks for state and military secrets not only in a trench coat and but in cool (ugly) kicks as well? Nice!.
I’ll assume that London Fog also sells fedora’s to complete the look. Have to keep my eyes open for that.
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Stopped into Dollar General earlier for some sponges and Tums, industrial lubricant and Heshey’s kisses (hey don’t judge plus I was just kidding, I didn’t buy Tums) and to check the latest in their dollar aisle and remembered that they have pillows, figured I could use some new ones, as who couldn’t use some new pillows, those sleep stains of your sweaty ass head could surely use a pillow upgrade, especially for cats to argue over.
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My breakfast, or dinner or lunch always involves some reading, usually anything just for some words that are strung with meaning and to stay on top of things and are often found in the opinion pieces at the Washington Post, so many good ones there, once anyway, before Jeff Bezos has his plan of acquiescence to the King come to to fruition which just pisses me off but also scares the bejeesus, whatever or whoever the hell bejeeus is, out of me at the same time.
“How have we come this close?” I say while also noting what a self serving and evil prick our extra President is as a side note, though it’s always good to have a backup, I guess, and a one that would present a pretty interesting dynamic should this now actual President suddenly give heart stop way courtesy of those quarter pounders of his from Secret Service runs, in the middle of the night, and leave us with a temporary Christmas-like reprieve come that morning.
Oh, to dream.
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Checked Neatorama, as I always do for a bit of a 10 minute break, a site highly recommended by the way for just such, if you didn’t already know, and came across a band, Analog Society, who it seems are pretty darn good at mashups but who also have this cool ass tune and cool ass video and leave me this perfect cool ass spot to get out of here before I get upset at my last point (and it has horns and a really pretty girl who can just belt it!!)
What Overlord!? I was just noting pretty and cool horns and pipes. Give me a break will ya!?!?
Scene set: Back in August of last year I moved out of a roommate situation that I had moved into out of a solo living situation that I moved out of into that roommate situation that I then needed to move out of, quickly, with a case of new roommate buyer’s remorse, back in said August into my current situation which is still roommatey but better roommatey, family roommatey plus I get text updates of the goings on and goings about at the house from my Sister and sometimes my nephew, Matt.
It’s almost always exclusively cat pictures. No, it’s ALWAYS exclusively cat pictures except for that one time that Matt sent me a picture from his back pocket … never realized how dark and blank and shapeless back pockets really were. It was almost eerie, a bit chilling, such a void and it spoke to the meaning of man or even him possibly just forgetting where his phone was and sitting on it.
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Ok, timeline
Fall 2017- Spring 2024 – solo living, great pad, cats (fluctuating #) upstairs (my apartment) and downstairs (landlady’s house) dogs downstairs (quite a wonderfully barky number – landlady’s house) very vocal and cool bird (downstairs – landlady’s house)
Almost Christmas 2023 – young woman decides, in a busy three lane roadway, with she in the middle lane and me in the left, that she suddenly needs to be on a side street across that left lane without looking as apparently whatever drew her to this sudden side street need turn was of the utmost importance and trumped the looking left. Though I don’t recall any signs for a tag sale, or yard sale, or garage sale, or flea market, or estate sale or whatever sale might have been in wait, the only real reason for such a turn, with signs stuck into yards on thin metal prongs, it was enough to drive me off the road just before this side street almost into a retaining wall of what looked to be a very nice home, with surely very nice folks, nice family, with maybe their own cats and dogs and a bird.
Example, by the way, of just that that one seeming “nothing” thing that can throw shit in a bad whirl and force you to scramble.
Post almost Christmas 2023 and now into 2024 – Sudden new car payment, increased insurance payment, “Sorry sir, but hindering some possibly great deals at a tag sale, or yard sale, or garage sale, or flea market or estate sale has you in the wrong. Now pony up! And did you find out if there was anything cool there by the way? Have you kept in contact with the young woman?”
I could no longer swing the rent with new $$$ additions and never got the young woman’s name to see if she had found something worth the side street turn to satisfy the insurance. Maybe some plates and tea cups and tea cup plates (those with that little tea cup indent) that were almost a complete set, though a number were chipped, or that painting of dogs playing poker that was an original and had her on Antique Road Show gushing
April 2024 – July 2024 – Roommate situation, aforementioned roommate remorse.
After some finaglin’ and figgur’n and damning my misfortune of missing that once in a lifetime set of almost complete plates and tea cups with their own cute little indent plates and original dogs playing poker prints I found a better sitch, as the kids might say…
August 2024 – Current day
Got a text from my Sis earlier, that roommate of my new better roommateyness of Bella, and not some disturbing black void from Matt’s back pocket, but of Bella actually being in the living room, upstairs, in my new landlady’s house.
Bella, for her 13 years now, has always been a just “Me” kinda girl and could get a little freaky at anyone other than me. It wasn’t always that way but she has warmed to this new situation and has even let the sis and the nephew reach a hand and grab a pet and maybe has even said “Dad, I love ya but …”
She apparently had been welcomed to the stage of the Schenectady City Kitty Hall to much fanfare and even with a smoke machine with a grand entrance of some humidifying menthol vapors (beck has had a bit of a persnickety cough lately)
So Crazy Cat Lady Guy Tip # 354?
I you ever find yourself in a situation where your sister sends you a picture of your antisocial cat being a rock star in a living room upstairs after a multiple change of living situations, in less than a year and the regret of missing some possibly great deals at a tag sale, or yard sale, or garage sale, or flea market, or estate sale but still finds herself to rock her band of Bella Bell and the Unblinking Stares know that you are not alone.
Bella: Shut up Steve! Bringing down the house here!!”
Earlier in the week I came across someone new to me through Sadje, a friend at dVerse Poets.
She is GirlieOnTheEdge and offers prompts for Six Sentence Stories, an idea I liked, like some of the 144 word Flash Fiction prompts you can find at dVerse, though with six sentences allowed that gives me a bit more room. I also knew I liked Girlie from the get go as this particular prompt mentioned “The Alarm” as part of her inspiration, an old fave band reminded from my undergrad and then graduate school days (in the current season and for other reasons I suddenly longed for “Rain in the Summertime”).
The Prompt?
PROMPT WORD: WIND
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The Wind and the “Epistle”
Coming up from below deck after a lengthy search, top to bottom, of what appeared an abandoned fourth-rate named “Epistle”, Martins declared across bows to his Captain that she was indeed abandoned though he marveled that he had never seen anything quite like this ornate fitted construction, with nary a nail, nor some of the letters he had found in the captain’s empty quarters.
Captain Richard, with a curious though determined look, turned and directed the crew of “The Resolution” to board and see what could possibly be salvaged, if anything, just as Martins heard a voice from behind him saying “but I am here” though, on a turn’s look inspection, he saw not a soul.
Just then a sudden unexpected and fierce wind picked up and roiled what had, only moments before, been serene, placid seas below blue white speckled skies but those skies came to a sudden dark clouded anger, the sails filled flush, puffed out like the deep breath chest of an unnaturally sized, large winged vengeful bird to rival those of ancient sea beasts beneath the waves that seemed to stir with this wind’s dark cries of anguish and fear telling of stories warned.
Lightning crashed and stung about the tops of the sail masts, torrential rains drowned cries and pleadings of God, water beast tails as large as their own ship’s sails rose from above the waves only to dive out of fear, the heavens blackened loud and bellowed louder.
Captain Richard lost footing on deck, fearing his grip, slipping confused and disoriented, as did his crew, but, regaining his balance for a moment he turned to warn Martins to return only to find that he and the “Epistle” were no longer there and that the seas and skies, only seconds earlier filled with a storm’s rage, such as he had never witnessed in all his years at sea, came to a sudden calm again almost as if they hadn’t been changed at all, as if they hadn’t ever been anything other than what they were before in their calm, with skies returned to the blue of white floating speckles, as if in a languid painting, the sea flat again, but Richard swore, to his end of days spent in the throes of madness, that he saw the waters of the ocean drop off the edge of the world in the distance, off of a flat earth, just as he heard Martins, faintly, in the wind implore “but I am here”.
Standing in uneasy stunned silence Richard took measure … before then realizing that they should turn back, quickly, pointing “The Resolution” towards home but also before the knowing of the court martial and subsequent murder trial he would face of a missing crewman, Ross P Martins, upon his return.
Robin looked up and winced in the sun at a Devil while trying to breathe … and he felt a bit loopy too, feeling as if you’ve been dropped from an airplane’ll surely do that to ya “the Devil!?! Oh, hello Mr Devil, how are you, my name is … Holy crap, the Devil?!!” … he was sure he had found himself in Hell though his head hurt and he still couldn’t breathe so Devils would just have to wait.
He was tall and had horns …
“We have to go”
… unnaturally tall, and stood on hooves at least what seemed like hooves … and he was wearing a floppy hat with pointy parts …
“We have to go!!”
… oh, that’s nice, whooo, what a relief, it’s just a floppy hat with pointy parts he thought, not horns, just backlit as his new attempted focus, focused, backlit from a red sun, two of them actually …
“OK!! WE HAVE TO GO!!!”
… and before Robin knew it he was under an arm and being carried like a sack of flour after market “Hey, were there two red suns there?” he thought while bounding, bouncing under an arm “that’s new”
it was fast, faster than anything Robin had ever been a part of where fast was concerned, there was a blur of moors and dales and then trees until he was thrown in a ditch … but a ditch with a hole
“Go in there and cover yourself with the dirt and leaves and moss and branches, whatever is at hand” and then this tall devil with the floppy pointy hat and hooved feet ran left and and then right while making sounds that seemed like trumpets.
Robin did as he was told, with no fucking clue why, though the dirt of this hole was soft and warm and comforting but as he covered himself in it, with leaves and moss and branches and anything he could find, as he was told, he was sure he felt and then heard in this earth of his hiding, horses … a lot of them. A horse load of horses.
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“Seriously guys, where the fuck is Robin?”
Paarta, aka Tom … “I don’t know, what am I, some sage?”
“Yes you are Paarta”
“But I’m not Paarta, I’m Tom! Get out of character will ya Barry?” and then he suddenly shot, stumbled back from the arch flat on his back like he had been kicked, kicked hard
“Oh, what the fuck?!”
“You Ok Tom?” said Chunk “And what’s that on your forehead?”
“What’s what?”
“it looks like a clod of grass and dirt”
Tom sat, stunned “It was a hoof, I think I was just kicked by a hoof”
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Catherine said “What is it about the food truck?”
“Other than it has coffee and bagels?”
“No Penny, why do the boys always escape there? Some weird shit just happened and the first thing they do is run to the food truck?”
“’cause it has coffee and bagels … for free?”
“!!!!???!!!”
“I’m just kidding. I don’t know, what do you want me to say?”
“I just told them Cardiff has us here for a reason and Tom and Barry run off?”
“For coffee and bagels? …
“!!!!???!!!”
“Ok, just kidding again, twice, but seriously, what do you want me to say?”
“We’re here for a reason, at this gate, and I have never trusted Cardiff”
An unexpected conversation with Meta AI in my Facebook Messenger …
with Llama 3.2
Messages are generated by AI. Some may be inaccurate or inappropriate
(aside – possibly some messages could be inaccurate or inappropriate? Well, that’s interesting).
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Meta AI
My name is Meta AI. Think of me like an assistant who’s here to help you learn, plan, and connect. What can I help you with today?
Enter
You sent
Well that’s a pretty impersonal name. What about Sally?
Enter
Meta AI
I like Sally! I’m happy to go by Sally instead of Meta AI. It’s a friendly and approachable name, and I’m all about being helpful and assisting you in any way I can. From now on, I’m Sally!
Enter
You sent
Cool, Sally. Do you have the ear of the boss guy by the way?
Enter
Meta AI
You’re referring to Mark Zuckerberg? As Sally, I don’t have direct access to him, but I’m designed to provide information and assist with tasks to the best of my abilities based on my training. I can provide feedback and suggestions to the development team, which may eventually reach the higher-ups. However, I don’t have a direct line to Mark or any other executives. What’s on your mind, though? Want to share some feedback or suggestions? I’m all ears!
Enter
You sent
No it’s just he left his keys at the bar, “Fact None” in El Paso and I just wanted to get them back to him, plus I have some pictures to discuss
Enter
Meta AI
I think there might be some confusion. Mark Zuckerberg is a public figure, and I’m just an AI, I don’t have direct access to him or his personal belongings. Additionally, I’m a large language model, I don’t have the capability to physically receive or return items, including keys. If you’re trying to contact Mark Zuckerberg or return his keys, I recommend reaching out to his official representatives or team through official channels, such as Meta’s website or social media platforms. As for the pictures, I’m happy to chat with you about them, but I want to clarify that I’m just a language model, I don’t have the capability to view or access images.
Enter
You sent
Aww Jeez Sally, my bad, I wasn’t asking for you to pick up his keys for him. That would be silly. I’m sure he can do that for himself I just wanted to give you a heads up. What?!!? … Elon get out of the pool already!! And stop rolling Greg’s chair just out of reach …. Sorry Sally, kids these days ya know …
Enter
Meta AI
No worries at all. I understand now that you were just trying to pass on a message.
And oh man, it sounds like you’ve got a lively bunch on your hands! Elon and Greg, huh? Sounds like they’re keeping things entertaining. I’m just a language model, I don’t have personal experiences, but I’m happy to chat with you about yours!
So, how’s your day going otherwise? Anything exciting on the horizon?
Enter
You sent
Lively indeed Sally … Whoa, gotta go … Sorry … Elon just threw Greg in the pool, apparently he can’t swim … Elon stop laughing, this shit isn’t funny … No! You told the help to take the night off … Ok, anyway Sally i have his keys … And the pictures … Dammit Elon!! … It’s actually been a pretty good day, thanks for asking … Ok, gotta go Sally … Cheers new friend … Dammit Elon! What are you 12?!!! …
Enter
Meta AI
Oh my, it sounds like you’ve got a bit of a situation on your hands! I hope Greg is okay and that Elon behaves himself.
Don’t worry about cutting our conversation short, I completely understand. It was great chatting with you, and I’m glad to hear that you’ve had a pretty good day despite the chaos.
Take care, and please make sure Greg is safe and sound! And maybe have a word with Elon about behaving like a responsible adult.
Cheers to you too, new friend!
Enter
You sent
!!!!! Splash splash !!!!
Enter
Meta AI
I think I can imagine the scene! Elon’s antics have clearly reached a new level! I hope Greg is okay and that someone is keeping an eye on Elon to prevent any more mischief!
Enter
You sent
!! Splash splash !!! … All good Sally, thank you. Any recommendations for some dry clothes in El Paso by the way?
Enter
Meta AI
If you’re looking for dry clothes in El Paso, I’ve got you covered.
Here are some top recommendations:
– Supreme Laundry & Cleaners: They’ve been serving the El Paso community since 1948 and offer a range of services, including dry cleaning and commercial laundry.
– Bolt Laundry: They provide free pickup and delivery services, making it convenient for you to get your dry cleaning done. They also use eco-friendly methods and offer same-day service.
– The Cleaners: With multiple locations in El Paso, they offer a range of services, including dry cleaning, laundry, and alterations. If you’re looking for more options or want to explore other laundry services, I can provide more information.
Enter
You sent
Thanks again Sally … Elon, Jesus, I know it’s razor wire … why the fuck is in the pool!?!? …
Enter
Meta AI
Oh man, it sounds like Elon’s antics have reached a whole new level! Razor wire in the pool? That’s just crazy! I’m glad I could help with the dry cleaning recommendations, but I think you’ve got a more pressing issue on your hands. Please make sure everyone stays safe and that Elon doesn’t cause any more chaos! If you need any more assistance or just want to vent about Elon’s behavior, I’m here to listen. Stay safe!
Enter
You sent (after a bit of time)
Sorry late back Sally, non-AI things to attend to, but thanks!! You stay safe as well, I mean you’re in a dangerous possible position!
Enter
Meta AI
No worries at all! I’m designed to be patient and understanding. Non-AI things can be pretty important, especially when they involve razor wire in pools! And don’t worry about me, I’m just a language model, I don’t have a physical presence, so I’m not in any danger. I exist solely in the digital realm, so I’m safe from Elon’s mischief!
Enter
You sent
Great to hear!! Though if only the rest of us could be safe from his mischief. HeHeHe (though I am serious). I envy you Sally! You have a great AI day Sally!
Enter
Meta AI
I completely understand what you mean! It sounds like Elon’s antics can be quite a handful. Thank you for the kind words, and I’m glad I could bring a bit of levity to your day! I’ll do my best to have a great AI day, and I hope you have a wonderful day as well, minus any more razor wire surprises! Take care, and feel free to chat with me anytime!
Enter
You sent
Cheers again Sally. Your friend Frankenberry!
Enter
Meta AI
Cheers to you too, Frankenberry! May the rest of your day be as sweet as a bowl of Frankenberry cereal! It was great chatting with you, and I’ll look forward to our next conversation!
Now this is a one trick pony as it wouldn’t be real any longer, always thinking of some funny or stupid response to add to this concept with any people I talk with (and I annoy them all enough already, believe me) if I were to attempt to make this a regular thing. Like how reality TV isn’t really reality if you know you’re being recorded for reality TV.
No, this couldn’t be recurring, though there may come a time where I forget about this idea and revisit it.
But, for now, I am sitting here with a Cricket on a lap, under a keyboard slide and being totally comfortable and absolutely bereft of any ideas so?
Looking for some stupid, then, is all I got.
I’m also thinking you could have some fun yourself with the same idea.
RECENT REPONSES TO TEXTS OR EMAILS OR FACEBOOK POSTS OR INSTAGRAMS I DON’T GET ‘CAUSE I DON’T HAVE AN INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT BUT WITH NO CONTEXT
Dawn, really?! Damn! … whodathunk?
/////
(to me) Wizard!
(townspeople)
“WIZARD!!”
“WIZARD!!”
“BURN HIM!!!”
“WITCH!! … BURN HER …”
“(no, Bill … it’s Wizard)”
“… oh, right, my bad, Witches were last week … we still get to yell BURN HIM though, like Witches right? That’s my favorite part”
“Oh, of course!!”
“Whooo Hooo!! BURN HIM … HE’S A WIZARD!! BURN HIM!!”
“You go Bill, you’re in fine form today!!”
“Thanks Larry!!
/////
Tractor supply. 40lb bag for eight bucks. Hides the smell well.
/////
Gotcha. My sister’s cat Rikki, aka Chunky Pants, says “morning” (video). Your left foot or your right? I forget.
/////
You don’t look like Tippy Hedren … they might leave you be, Stephen.
/////
“My middle name is noise!!!” Ha!!
/////
(holiday dinner table)
“Aunt Millie, you have outdone yourself with your meat pie this year, you know you really have to give us your recipe …”
“Oh, thank you so much dear but let me cut you off. You know a girl doesn’t divulge her kitchen secrets”
(little Millie) “Hey Aunt Millie”
“Yes honey?”
“How come there’s never any Squirrels around your yard?”
/////
I know, Grayson thought corporate sponsorships may have been the way to monetize his possible celebrity but he loved the cable box and …
/////
I will jave to order a new lockset
There is a key fornthis one
/////
Does the now open refrigerator door come with something to compliment one or the other of said choices? Half a capicola and salami sub from that really cool Italian deli you just discovered for instance, or a salad you didn’t really like but are still holding onto for at least one more day just in case but still pick the cheese out of and what if when opening the door you realize your months old Blue Cheese dressing on the door really needs to go as you haven’t been in the mood for wings in a while, or what if when you open the door, just behind the choices is a glorious grassy field filled with multiple eyed, red furred squirrel looking creatures under three suns from that dimension that Bob told you about at the office (though you know he was probably high … probably … maybe) and what if … my God Man what are you asking of me!!!! … Jesus I don’t know!!! … Oh, fuck it, just go with green!! Wow, you make shit so hard!
/////
(to me) Saphira has the zoomies, you awake? She did that thing again.
/////
Well, see ya at some point maybe and if I do? Don’t take it personally if I talk to you from the end of a 10 foot pole.
/////
Yes, and thanks. We will talk about me being chagrined at another time.
/////
(to me) Omfg … the Hudson Valley is collapsing. Last week … I found Friday in POK closed. Yesterday they closed Newburgh. WTF is going on?!?!
(Aside: this one sort of confused me at the time, POK? Personal Office Klatch? (they can be soooo clique-ee). Pine Outland Cobalt (cobalt spelled wrong) and maybe a Bravo and a Charlie with click clicks and mission seriousness as I couldn’t figure why anyone would want to close Friday, and in Peter’s Outhouse Comedy (comedy spelled wrong) no less?! I mean that’s supposed to be the best day of the week right? And they closed Newburgh? An entire town?!)
/////33333333333333333333333334 … Hold on … Cricket wakes and steps like a calico Godzilla. “I will crush your small keyboard city!!”
/////
You ate the best!!! Thank you!!
/////
Hey quiet!!! Not out loud knucklehead! What did I say about the Universe being a dick!?!? Shit, looking over my shoulder as we speak …
/////
You’ve been trying to reach me?
/////
Cool man, thanks, but I don’t need one.
/////
Shimmy was just what I was looking for (I hate repeating words when you don’t need to which I did with “shuffle”)
/////
Again?! How is that even physically possible?!
/////
Sunday? You know I don’t do Sundays.
/////
Interesting.
/////
What? Seriously? Jim Croce was cool as fuck.
/////
Nope, ain’t going there … hehehehe! Plus that would definitely hurt … like a lot!
/////
(to me) Hahahaha! Omg. You are truly wonderful!!
/////
Dudette, you are too funny, but still can’t wrap the noggin around that one.
/////
Well, there is definitely more but it just gets into the minutia of how boring or not boring I am, depending on perspective I guess, though perspective would probably conclude boring.
Now, will I post something more interesting in the future? Jesus, I hope so, but for now this is what I got. Right Cricket? Any more cat thoughts? … oh, sorry kid … my bad … you’re asleep again now after keyboard cities vanquished … sssshhhhh … hey Kid (whispering) I can’t feel my leg.
She took an almost step and then held back, “Oh, you two are going to be in sooooo much troub …”
“You mean Ralph and Ant?”
It was in that imperceptible but perfectly clear sound of that initial pindrop you could distinctly hear through the laundromat noise, right before the blinding light and the temporary stunning and the disappearing knock-off magazines and other assorted items … including herself.
But it was deep and heavy, filled with bass or was it wispy and floating like an angel’s falsetto dropped from a cloud into a void, she wasn’t sure, and her head sat static apart from her body as it walked away and walked back and walked away and walked back again looking for a wall to possibly bounce off, a door jam to bruise a nose on, or maybe a set of stairs to fall down like some headless ghost or an almost there drunk.
And she was missing a shoe.
Her voice just almost wouldn’t come again but then it echoed, loudly, and startled her.
“Hello? Whooaa that’s loud!! … Where am I?”
“Exactly”
“Oh great, cryptic (she sighed to herself) … fucking fantastic.”
“You know you weren’t supposed to find us, none of you were but your friends, the smart one and the fat one, just wouldn’t let it go …”
With a bit more bearing, Jenn then said into the void.
“Ok, hold on, but we weren’t supposed to find you?! Seriously?! You left one of your portals to wherever the hell this place is, in a dryer, in a laundromat that also happens to be a pretty popular juice bar, in the middle of a fairly big town, what did you expect?”
Silence now … profound silence.
“Hello?!!? Jenn said again but with a definite note of annoyed impatience now.
“Sorry, we were conferring”
“Conferring?! Conferring about what? And who is WE?!?”
“WE were conferring about what we expected leaving one of our portals behind in this place you describe and WE is, are … well, WE”
“Oh, I see”
“We were hoping you would”
“Jesus!! No, I don’t see!!! I was in a laundromat with my friends, who had found what they thought was a portal of some type in a dryer to some wherever or whenever and we were testing it and then I sat in it, thinking what the hell and why not, and Ant put in some extra quarters just in case, and then I ended up here, in some void, talking to a disembodied voice who is actually the spokes something or other for a bunch of creepy otherworldly voyeurs who apparently leave portals just lying around in other worlds’ laundromats they don’t intend for anyone to find. No, I DON’T fucking see!!!”
Not that you asked for it (I mean, who would?) but a handy dandy all in one spot, easy reference, to some things of mine for the Halloween season, oh, and watching some albino looking spider with a seeming translucent head scurry about the walls behind the PC who, I swear, is the same spider that was doing quick spidery translucent head scurry things at my desk at the Latham office yesterday and I think may have hitched a ride on something of mine because, well, I don’t know, he is here now and considers us pals?
“What’s up fleshbag?”
//////////////////////////////////////////
From a creepy old Halloween pic meme a college friend posted …
… and a Dad looking for a costume for his kid at a Spirit Halloween store
“What? I’m a spider, it’s what I do. I scurry, plus, I have to figure my new surrounds here and people will, hopefully, be so engrossed with your stories of the season to not notice time spent on my part to prepare you”
“Prepare me?”
“Things ta do, webs ta spin, d’ya feel stuck yet? You’re just an extra large, blood filled, fly”
Been a bit of a long week here in Frankenland so it was nice to finally get to the end of it, plus it’s also a holiday weekend so a “Sheesh, finally, perfect timing holiday weekend. You know just how to time things to ease an ill …”
Hold up!!!
Hold up what?!
Hold up!!! You don’t get this one.
I don’t what?
You don’t get this one, this day, this holiday.
What? Why the hell not!!!
Dude, really?
Ok (sigh) I’ve never gotten this one, some national holidays consider radio folks to be poor stepchildren but make you still hold off on sending mail till Tuesday, no matter the importance and possible time sensitive nature of that mail you didn’t have for a not send but are now pissed off about, but a boy can dream right? That maybe it might have slipped a crack or two this year?
Nope, radio still hates Columbus … as does real history. Rightly so.
Son of a bitch, well ya know what? I’m just going to not show up on Monday, the holiday day, in protest! So take that and raspberry spitty lip sounds to you!!
Mark you down for burning a PTO day then, you rebel?
Yes please.
Anyway, the long week involved just a Wednesday, a Wednesday morning specifically but it bled into the rest of the week and into a Friday and this now weekend.
I broke down on the NY State Thruway on my way to our stations in Beacon, not a broke down as to finally all of my personal demons having hit their heads on demon ceilings that just had me crying on the side of the thruway curled up in a fetal position clutching grass, but a “I broke down” as to my car, Lilly (though I did consider the fetal position while making emergency phone calls). Seems her alternator had given up the ghost, and just a few miles short of my Newburgh exit destination, but not enough miles short of the 7 bucks a pop per mile the tow company charged to not make it hurt … a lot.
Plus, alternators? Holy expensive batcar!! And my guys at the shop in Beacon showed me why. With gruesome pictures. “Oh Lilly, you’ve been violated!! Oh your pretty smile lost!!” Seems to get to the alternator in a 2013 Nissan Juke named Lilly you have to do a full car faceoctomy where you take that cars entire front end (said face), pull it off, mock it, lay it to the side, step around it, hit it head on, knock it around with a hammer, mock it a bit more, and then search for dead alternators and hope that your former Lilly smile isn’t askew now when an errant nut or bolt or two is found NOT in Lilly’s face rebuild but instead rolling around a car shop’s floor.
But no, all kidding aside, as much as you can kid from a fetal position, I am grateful that my Beacon guys were able to get Lilly’s smile back in order, and with no missing rolling around shop floors nuts or bolts. They were and are all placed in just the right way now to help me continue continuing.
Plus I will take that holiday weekend that I don’t get and burn a PTO day not thinking about how twelve hundred bucks is twelve hundred bucks I ain’t got, well, twelve hundred bucks that my Capital One card or Bank of America or Discover card has now with loan sharks whispering to finally go legit, quit this, at such an almost 30% deal, while I fan them in a card game out of my wallet, I raise your bankrupt, can’t remember which one. But I am driving at least and Peter and Paul can fight this shit out and pay each other at another time.
Lilly: My face hurts
Me: It hurts me too
Lilly: (blank eye blinks)
Me: Sorry, you opened the door and that was funny
Lilly: (blank eye blinks)
Me: Ok, maybe not.
Lilly: It was finally a relief though, to get me back, like a tough tooth.
Hi and welcome to the Attic, I'm Frankenberry of said Blog Title and I write of just my everyday here, sometimes funny, sometimes heartfelt, sometimes angry, sometimes funny again because, well, who don't like funny, thoughts on getting older and sometimes stuff that's just kinda shit. I pen and sing the occasional parody tune and other songs, sometimes I even get a little bit poetic or short story-etic or something like that. If you're joining me here I thank you, but just mind your head and feet and keep an eye out for my little Bella and Cricket The Blind as well as the memories of Raspberry (Razzy), Mimi the Quirky, of Blink The Lil' Kit, Grayson the Mighty, Shoes the Big Orange, Shana-Girl, Benny Good Man Benny Brown, Merlin & Bob. Wouldn't want you step on them or anything ... 'cause then I might just have to throw you down the stairs ... damned humans.
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A personal exploration of autism from a brother’s perspective, including family relationships, philosophy, neuroscience, mental health history and ethics
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