“Yield – A Short Story”
Once upon …
I was gonna post a version of this earlier yesterday, after I had gotten in to work, while my annoyed pet peevy-ness was still fresh but the day ended up a being a bit of a bear, and time ran away from me screaming. Damned work getting in the way of a good post.
Anyway, I drive the on-ramp/off-ramp then on-ramp/off-ramp dreaded loops of the Mid Hudson Bridge/Route 9 every morning and then return home the same way, small, I’m sure, compared to big cities but still…
For those not from this area I apologize for the place specific but maybe, in general, you’ll get where I’m coming from.
So I thought, as a public service, I’d offer to help define that red triangular sign that you often see at points of roadways where they merge. A sign called “Yield”. Confused? Yield? I know.
“Steve, we ARE confused. But from where is there such a sign? We know of many road signs, “Stop” and … uh … and … ummmm … there’s a school one we think … and so many others but the one of which you speak is alien to us”
(Future reference, don’t say “alien”, I don’t even have papers readily available).
Maybe it’ll help if I said it’s the “upside down red triangle sign thingy with a word you don’t recognize and pay no mind to.”
“Oh yes … that one”
It’s meaning? “Let other road users go first. A yield sign assigns the right-of-way to traffic in certain intersections. If you see a yield sign ahead, be prepared to let other drivers crossing your road take the right-of-way”
For example in Illustration # “A” the “YOU” driver has a decision to make. You could actually heed the “upside down red triangle sign thingy with a word you don’t recognize and pay no mind to” and slow down or even stop, or you could just, instead, la-la-la-la song in your heart, phone at your hand, knuckle in your head, loop around and merge blindly while pissing me the fuck off as you almost catch my nose in your ass. Sorry, I should rephrase that.
This wasn’t yesterday morning though, that’s just my often evening commute. No, yesterday morning’s pet peevy-ness tips the annoyance scale a bit more as it involves the almost every day car behind me as I attempt to navigate an on-ramp/off-ramp then on-ramp/off-ramp while actually paying attention to this particular sign and the concept of “Yield” but in front of that person who views it merely as that “upside down red triangle sign thingy with a word you don’t recognize and pay no mind to.”
“Why are you stopping me?” the car behind me honks increduously while I offer a nice flashy bird. “ii1ii”. Damned birds.
Refer to Illustration # “B” (bear with the storytelling artist that I am not).
I wait, deferring to the Yield with clueless, honking eyes boring a hole in the back of head, and then move forward, though often thinking of putting BB (my car) in park and stepping out just to point, silently, with a Death’s cliche’d bony finger at that “upside down red triangle sign thingy with a word you don’t recognize and pay no mind to”.
… The End.
Ok, BB and I realize this isn’t much of a short story. There’s nothing to it other than the general circumstance of annoyance.
So … after a fender bender at a Yield sign, where their cars met nose to ass (re-phasing to come in the rewrites) a guy meets a girl, they exchange info (the cop at the scene was nice) they go out to dinner, they date, they move in together, they discover they moved too quickly, the girl calls the nice cop for help with an unwarranted restraining order, the guy grabs his stuff off the lawn, the girl and the cop date, they move in together, the girl gets bored and moves out but only after calling the cop’s ex-girlfriend, the guy writes a famous novel called “Yield”, the girl calls the newly famous novelist, the guy answers the phone, the girl winks, three families bond over their differences and a long lost Billy finally comes home, though he’s changed.