It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Patrick (Christmas cat song)

Well it’s that time of year for this one again, an annual holiday tradition now for me to post it (if a third year running is enough to constitute “tradition”) if for no other reason, than, as a crazy cat lady guy, I just really like it.

Though I did include it recently in a post with a few other tunes, the fun song stories of my hapless friends Stevie and Tommy and Stevie’s not so hapless little brother Billy, this one needs it’s own singular post.

it’s fun, it’s catly and it’s Christmasy.

Nuff said.

It came from a Facebook post of a friend, Linda, a couple of years ago and her cat, Patrick, from a line of hers in that post that said, with him sitting in front of some Christmas pretty decorations, “It’s beginning to look a lot like Patrick”

I went with it and had a blast.

Cheers Linda and to you Patrick, again, you damn good looking Christmas cat.

‘Tis the season Patrick.

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Patrick

It’s beginning to look a lot like Patrick

Everywhere Pat goes

Take a look in his snug cat bed laying his Patrick head

With maybe a mouse or two under his toes

It’s beginning to look a lot like Patrick

Fur on every rug

Till the monster is need brought out

To suck away all hair’s clout

While Patrick runs no doubt

.

An extra can can of food or some cat nip for mood

Is his wish as any cat would

Ball with a bell and a knock it to hell

Is new wish across some hardwood

.

And Mom and Dad do funny dance to not step on cat’s pants

.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Patrick

Everywhere Pat goes

There’s a tree that is soon to rise

Each branch a new cat prize

The hanging kind just waiting for a fall

.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Patrick

Snoozing underneath

And what brings that slumber best

Are the lights not put to test

With Christmas cats now at rest

.

(break)

.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Patrick

Runnin’ cross the floor

To every cat’s Christmas dream

And the presents that will be

Box torn paper all a-skew

.

Sure it’s Patrick once more … time to puke, time to puke it’s Patrick’s time to puke.

mmm … mmm

So Then Sunday: Stuck In Democracy’s Fight (song)

Just going back a couple of months on this one …

//////////////////////////////////////////

Not much of a post here, no story, just another political parody in my long list of such, this one about what is at stake in this coming election.

Will it be continued democracy or a creeping fascism?

Shame on you GOP for your lack of will and your rubber backbones to not stand up for the former and just accept the latter instead now as a matter of course, as if this were just the flow of new history, the CPAC darling Jack Posobiec highlighting such in his future jackboot “Democracy needs to die” inspirational rant blueprinting all that is wrong with today’s GOP while of course somehow laying the blame of this wish at the feet of Dems and their destruction of OUR country “They say democracy, but they mean authoritarianism, and they know it,” he said with a straight projection face, the one where they are not allowed to assert their will and force us to bend to it. Can’t have that.

And Jack who are you by the way. I mean, should I know you? Are you a thing?

To Stealers Wheel “Stuck In The Middle With You”.

Stuck in Democracy’s Fight

Well don’t know which way we’ll head in this fight

Gonna be ‘bout truth or just what ain’t right

Democracy’s on table up in the air

Though the GOP just don’t seem to care

.

Heroes to the left of us

Fascists to the right

There we’ll be

Stuck in democracy’s fight

Yes we’re

Stuck tryin’ hold onto light

.

Well the rhetoric is dark and it harks 

To bleak history now back in an arc

Where it re-turns to new devil to bark

.

Heroes to the left of us

Fascists to the right

There we’ll be

Stuck in democracy’s fight

.

Well we hear it at the rallies

Violence a hope to carry then

And bluster to the rosters

of the pawns be called to muster

say pleeeeaasse

save us pleeeaaase

.

Oh!

.

Well democracy falls to the wayside

To the right kind that’s the new way to ride

Mind true leader till left’s left on the floor

Cause great country just can’t take anymore

.

They say

.

Evil’s to the left of us

Righteous to the right

Here we’ll be

Stuck in democracy’s fight

.

– break

.

Well, there’s a fight that is a brewin’

Constitution it’s a stewin’ now

It warned of men who would be kings

Tried steel from new need kissed rings

Put checks in

Pleeeaaassse

Pleeeaaassse

.

Well, we all know why we came here tonight

Be ‘bout truth or just what isn’t right

Democracy’s on table up in the air

Though 35 percent just don’t seem to care

.

Heroes to the left of us

Fascists to the right

There we’ll be

Stuck in democracy’s fight

Yes we’re

Stuck tryin’ hold onto light

Stuck in a fight for our lives

Liberty

Wants to continue to ride

Before needs in darkness then just to hide …

To Pee Or Not To … I Didn’t Pee (a Cujo the Cat song)

(to Shaggy’s “It Wasn’t Me”)

So here at House Wiltse (my latest nom of this place – I’ve penned quite a few of them over the last 3+ years always imagining whichever one on a shingle hanging above the front porch) there are a couple or a few or a number of cats. That’s downstairs by the way. You are already well aware, I’m sure, of my upstairs couple or a few or a number of or a three now or a four twice or a five once or even the momentary more when I’ve made the mistake of leaving my door open while doing a load of clothes. But, like I said, there are a couple or a few or a number of cats downstairs and with that any number comes the occasional issue.

“Hey! Off the counter!”

“Hey! Don’t be swattin’!”

“Hey! I’m wearing a black sweatshirt and don’t have one those sticky rolly things!”

You just learn to roll with them and wear lighter colors.

This is small stuff though, small cat stuff you just navigate knowing that that it is part of the deal. But sometimes the “occasional issue” is one that is more than just a butt push to the floor or an admonishment to be nice or a back off from the sweatshirt you hairy hair hairy. Sometimes it’s an actual issue, like peeing where peeing shouldn’t happen. That’s what litter and its boxes are for right? Not necessarily it seems.

Celie (my landlady for those that don’t know or land-bestie as my friend Jonna likes to put it) texted me just a week or so ago that she had a song idea for me (you may have noticed I’ve been wont to a parody song or two) after one of the couple of or a few of or a number of cats downstairs decided to eschew the litter box and just go free rein, free pee rein.

Cujo.

Again.

She got the thought of the chorus of Shaggy’s “It Wasn’t Me” in her head just with a Cujo pee tint as he surely looked at her and cat said “what?”

I decided to go with that thought and some cat pee silly.

It Wasn’t Me, I Didn’t Pee

Yo, Handsome … Open up man

What do you want Cujo?

Mom just caught me

Seriously?

I don’t know how

Where?

In the shower, you know

Man

I don’t know what to do

Well, say it wasn’t you

Alright

Celie came in and she caught me red handed

Peeing on the shower floor

Picture this, I’m a cat named Cujo

Who doesn’t litter box no more

How could I forget that she lived

On this very big house floor

Just right down the hall here

Till she was standing at the bathroom door

How could you forget that Mom’s the one who owns this villa

She’s got sixth senses that snap up on her pilla

You keep this up she’s gonna be your killa

She knows it’s you even got ya on camera

Before you were dumb and strolled off into the shower

These humans got tech to catch you any hour

Yeah that’s video your ass up on stovetop

You gotta say it wasn’t you to save you from the next stop

But she caught me on the counter (It wasn’t me)
Saw me peein’ on the stovetop (I didn’t pee)
Even saw me in corners (It wasn’t me)
Yeah she caught me on camera (I didn’t pee)
Saw scratches on the floorboards (It wasn’t me)
Smelled the smell that made her nose curl (I didn’t pee)
Heard her screams when she discovered (It wasn’t me)
I couldn’t stay so I took off

Celie came in and she caught me red handed

Peeing on the shower floor

Picture this, I’m a cat named Cujo

Who doesn’t litter box no more

How could I forget that she lived

On this very big house floor

Just right down the hall here

Till she was standing at the bathroom door

Act like nothing happened, that it’s no big deal  

Walk your Cujo walk, denial in your cool

See if you can sing another cat’s fault song

Maybe Sunny with who you don’t get along  

You’re gonna be banished from house for real

You’ll be pushin’ daisies soon for just this deal

You’ll be out garage, house life won’t last

Get caught again and 9th life will pass  

But she caught me on the counter (It wasn’t me)
Saw me peein’ on the stovetop (I didn’t pee)
Even saw me in corners (It wasn’t me)
Yeah she caught me on camera (I didn’t pee)
Saw scratches on the floorboards (It wasn’t me)
Smelled the smell that made her nose curl (I didn’t pee)
I heard the screams when she discovered (It wasn’t me)
I couldn’t stay so I took off

Celie came in and she caught me red handed

Peeing on the shower floor

Picture this, I’m a cat named Cujo

Who doesn’t litter box no more

How could I forget that she lived

On this very big house floor

Just right down the hall here

Till she was standing at the bathroom door

Gonna blame some other

For the smell that I’ve caused

Gotta be some other cat who goes and pees against doors

I will tell her that maybe it’s because of the dogs

I’ll just make sure they don’t catch me

When they figure mad cause

Celie came in and she caught me red handed

Peeing on the shower floor

Picture this, I’m a cat named Cujo

Who doesn’t litter box no more

How could I forget that she lived

On this very big house floor

Just right down the hall here

Till she was standing at the bathroom door

Celie came in

She caught me red handed

It wasn’t me I do say

I didn’t pee I will say

Celie came in then

She caught me red handed

It wasn’t me

Meow