An Ode To BB The Car (song)

To Terry Jacks “Seasons In The Sun” (it’s coming at the bottom, hold your horses, story time first)

My first driving lessons so many years ago with my Dad were pretty simple, obvious stuff

Dad: Okay Steph, I know you know this so don’t roll your eyes but this is Park, Reverse, Neutral, Drive.

Me: (rolling my eyes).

Dad: Hey.

Me: Sorry.

Dad: So, there is Park, Reverse, Neutral and Drive. I know this is pretty simple, obvious stuff, but you don’t want to confuse them. You don’t want to accidentally put the car in reverse, for example, when you want to be in drive or then you might suddenly become a scene in some comedy film with a destroyed store front.

Me: I’m not going to accidentally destroy any store fronts Dad.

Dad: Weirder things can happen … I saw it in a comedy film … and here are your turn signals. Click right for right, left for left.

Me: Dad, I got that.

Dad: Well, they are really important, especially as you should always use them with enough time ahead of your intended turn to alert any drivers behind or beside you. You don’t want to employ them too late and then suddenly jump from the middle lane of a busy three lane roadway wanting to turn onto a side road, a Corlies Ave possibly, without looking in the outside lane for say something like, I don’t know, another vehicle and then before you know it someone is almost driving into a retaining wall but with quick reflexes, even in their aged years, are still able to avoid said retaining wall, sadly though not the sidewalk they have been forced up onto over a curb with a now blown out tire along with some fancy new Avant guard looking car body artwork.

Me: Wow, that one is oddly specific Dad.

Dad: Just an example Steph, hold it in your back pocket.

That was earlier this week on my Thursday morning way as I fell prey to someone who obviously did not pay attention in Dad’s driving class.

And no, my Dad would never have said anything of the sort. He didn’t watch comedies, he was more a History Channel kinda guy.

Demerits I say and maybe even an essay of explanation.

I still see that retaining wall and the nice pine trees above it that it was retaining though.

But well … my car, my BB is now in the car wind according to insurance folks.

I loved that car. Really loved that car.

We’d spent the last 7 years together doing near and far and to and fro and back and forth driving things and I will miss him. We knew each other’s quirks and foibles … we talked of the world and how pretty screwed up it is, folks at traffic lights looked at us weird with no ear buds to explain, we listened to music together but only on CD because we’re both old … he told me of his previous owner who didn’t really care of him, as a car, just as a vehicle for his own vehicle needs, we worked broadcast High School football games together up the Albany way and burned the midnight oil in post-game drives, we … well, actually I just drove him, but 7 years is still a long time, longer than any relationship I have ever had so allow me to romanticize.

It is funny though … I really do and will so miss him.

There is one silver lining in all of this I guess. In our time, BB and I, I never once spritzed (not proud of it) a Windex or broke out even a damp paper towel. I did though use the stretched out end of a sweatshirt for a side mirror swipe from time to time but things were getting a bit gamey, not a smell, but just gamey dust, dust on dust on top of more dust on more dust and I knew it was time to actually do a bit of cleaning. It was a pretty daunting thought and it was weighing on me. I’m sure even the best of car detailers might have balked at the job.

But then, well, accidents happen.

So, a song then as I like to sing, poorly, but with gusto and do song things with new original lyrics.

An ode then to my BB.

Cheers old man.

(Okay, to Terry Jacks “Seasons In The Sun” now)

BB In The Sun (I was boy, you were car)

Goodbye to you my BB friend

You came along when I needed you just then

Get out Durango money pit

Its maintenance was causing fits

Seemed every five was on a lift

.

Goodbye to you my BB friend

My discontinued Scion to the end

Until that woman tried to turn

Left leaving you then to be burned

Up on the sidewalk you were turned

.

I was boy you were car

Together we went near and far

You got me also to and fro

And even sometimes back and forth

.

You were shaped just like a box

Thumbing your nose at whole S-U-V flock

If you’re in school they would make fun

But you wouldn’t care at all

Away with me from them you’d go

.

You were color of decency

Looked it up your color blue-ish green

Who’d a known of such a thing

Teal it was named after a bird

We flew together like that bird

.

I was boy you were car

Together we went near and far

You got me also to and fro

And even sometimes back and forth

.

You were car I was boy

Stick shift you were my real joy

Just were careful on small hills

Drifting back could meet a grill

.

Thought you must then sure have a name

Something to call you then I could exclaim

When idiots they pissed us off

On the road as drivers will

Even in the end idiots still

.

I went with Teal and you a box

TB I thought but braked hard on that thought

TB yeah that would be awkward

BB instead it was to be

Blue close enough and box you he

.

I was boy you were car

Together we went near and far

You got me also to and fro

And even sometimes back and forth

.

You were car I was boy

Stick shift you were my real joy

Just were careful on small hills

Drifting back could meet a grill

.

All our days we had fun

We even rocked under the sun

Open windows loud in song

Though traffic never sang along

.

I was boy you were car

Together we went near and far

You got me also to and fro

And even sometimes back and forth