On my way home earlier this week, windows down, a perfect breeze with plenty of sun and light whispy cloud blue skies, singing along embarrassingly loud to “Little Willy” from Sweet of “Ballroom Blitz” and “Fox on the Run” and “Love is like Oxygen” fame I gloried in a really beautiful Spring evening ride. I had grabbed a best of theirs from my CD bookcase that morning thinking that some 70’s glam rock, with long hair and tight t-shirts and tall heeled shoes and really high pitched harmonies recalling my early teen years might just be in order, I mean ya gotta have a rockin’ throwback tune that has “His star-shoe shimmy shuffle down” & “His star-shine shimmy shuffle smile” in the lyrics for a ride like this right?
Then I came to be behind THAT car and THAT guy with a self satisfied “I’m too cool” elbow out with every step on the gas and sudden too fast lunge forwards making mother earth and eardrums die just a little in the process.
That one of the crackling and popping and sputters and intentional combustion engine machine gun sounds imitating a motocross dirt bike, just one that sounded like it needed some time in the shop, rigged up in this case with an exhaust system that featured four exhaust pipes all blowing back at me worse than a local public bus that ya can never seem to find the right moment to pass while trees just dropped over dead, pedestrians covered their ears and birds fell from the sky with X’s on their eyes in its wake.
So much for open windows and perfect Spring breezes huh?
And it was a Beamer!! Just criminal.
“Hello, 911, what is your emergency?”
“I’m behind a BMW that has been mocked up to sound like a Motocross dirt bike and with multiple exhausts”
“A BMW?!?”
“Yes”
“And with multiple exhausts? Well, that’s just criminal. Are trees dropping dead in its wake along with people losing their hearing and with birds with X’s on their eyes just falling from the sky?”
“Yes”
“Contacting local authorities now Sir …”
Anyway, Sweet, “Little Willy” and an almost perfect ride home.
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