… Zuck, now nothing more than a spineless sack of goo, said he was eager to rewrite Meta‘s relationship with the American government by laying prostrate to the new King while making a cash payment oath of fealty.
“We now have a U.S. administration that is proud of our leading companies, prioritizes American technology winning and gladly accepts, no demands, exorbitant amounts of protection money” Zuck told investors during a $25 million dollar poorer earnings call “And I am optimistic about the progress and innovation that this can unlock as long as we always have plenty of cash on hand and agree to continue the new “fact-free” approach of our Facebook platform.”
This settles a 2021 lawsuit brought by President Trump alleging the company’s suspension of his social media accounts after the Jan. 6, 2021, attack on the U.S. Capitol amounted to an act of censorship of a man legitimately trying to violently overthrow the U.S. Government.
Meta agreed to pay $25 million to resolve the legal dispute. The bulk of the settlement, $22 million, will help fund Trump’s presidential library, while the rest will pay legal fees and be divided among other plaintiffs in the case, according to Meta spokesman Andy Stone who then broke down in uncontrollable fits of laughter.
When asked what was so funny … more laughter, uncontrollable as just noted and in fits … when asked once again what was so funny spokesman Andy Stone finally gathered himself, took a deep breath and said “Sorry, my apologies. But the Trump Presidential Library??!! Now that shit just makes me laugh! I mean $22 million to fund what?! The back of a cereal box or a blank yellow notepad or a bathroom full of classified documents?! C’mon!! You know this is going right into this dude’s fat-ass pockets …” the uncontrollable laughter resumed until Meta spokesman Andy Stone was firmly led away.
The settlement builds on dramatic changes at Meta over recent weeks that have included Zuck and his wife buying new swimwear for trips to Mar-a-Lago and Zuck commissioning a statue of Trump to replace that Medusa’s estranged sister looking somebody lost a bet with Poseidon monstrosity of his wife.
Zuck did not return requests for comment and Andy Stone is now far, far away. Though if you listen closely you can still hear distant echoes of laughter “the Trump Presidential Library hehehehehehehehe ………..”
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