Now this is a one trick pony as it wouldn’t be real any longer, always thinking of some funny or stupid response to add to this concept with any people I talk with (and I annoy them all enough already, believe me) if I were to attempt to make this a regular thing. Like how reality TV isn’t really reality if you know you’re being recorded for reality TV.
No, this couldn’t be recurring, though there may come a time where I forget about this idea and revisit it.
But, for now, I am sitting here with a Cricket on a lap, under a keyboard slide and being totally comfortable and absolutely bereft of any ideas so?
Looking for some stupid, then, is all I got.
I’m also thinking you could have some fun yourself with the same idea.
RECENT REPONSES TO TEXTS OR EMAILS OR FACEBOOK POSTS OR INSTAGRAMS I DON’T GET ‘CAUSE I DON’T HAVE AN INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT BUT WITH NO CONTEXT
Dawn, really?! Damn! … whodathunk?
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(to me) Wizard!
(townspeople)
“WIZARD!!”
“WIZARD!!”
“BURN HIM!!!”
“WITCH!! … BURN HER …”
“(no, Bill … it’s Wizard)”
“… oh, right, my bad, Witches were last week … we still get to yell BURN HIM though, like Witches right? That’s my favorite part”
“Oh, of course!!”
“Whooo Hooo!! BURN HIM … HE’S A WIZARD!! BURN HIM!!”
“You go Bill, you’re in fine form today!!”
“Thanks Larry!!
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Tractor supply. 40lb bag for eight bucks. Hides the smell well.
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Gotcha. My sister’s cat Rikki, aka Chunky Pants, says “morning” (video). Your left foot or your right? I forget.
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You don’t look like Tippy Hedren … they might leave you be, Stephen.
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“My middle name is noise!!!” Ha!!
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(holiday dinner table)
“Aunt Millie, you have outdone yourself with your meat pie this year, you know you really have to give us your recipe …”
“Oh, thank you so much dear but let me cut you off. You know a girl doesn’t divulge her kitchen secrets”
(little Millie) “Hey Aunt Millie”
“Yes honey?”
“How come there’s never any Squirrels around your yard?”
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I know, Grayson thought corporate sponsorships may have been the way to monetize his possible celebrity but he loved the cable box and …
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I will jave to order a new lockset
There is a key fornthis one
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Does the now open refrigerator door come with something to compliment one or the other of said choices? Half a capicola and salami sub from that really cool Italian deli you just discovered for instance, or a salad you didn’t really like but are still holding onto for at least one more day just in case but still pick the cheese out of and what if when opening the door you realize your months old Blue Cheese dressing on the door really needs to go as you haven’t been in the mood for wings in a while, or what if when you open the door, just behind the choices is a glorious grassy field filled with multiple eyed, red furred squirrel looking creatures under three suns from that dimension that Bob told you about at the office (though you know he was probably high … probably … maybe) and what if … my God Man what are you asking of me!!!! … Jesus I don’t know!!! … Oh, fuck it, just go with green!! Wow, you make shit so hard!
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(to me) Saphira has the zoomies, you awake? She did that thing again.
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Well, see ya at some point maybe and if I do? Don’t take it personally if I talk to you from the end of a 10 foot pole.
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Yes, and thanks. We will talk about me being chagrined at another time.
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(to me) Omfg … the Hudson Valley is collapsing. Last week … I found Friday in POK closed. Yesterday they closed Newburgh. WTF is going on?!?!
(Aside: this one sort of confused me at the time, POK? Personal Office Klatch? (they can be soooo clique-ee). Pine Outland Cobalt (cobalt spelled wrong) and maybe a Bravo and a Charlie with click clicks and mission seriousness as I couldn’t figure why anyone would want to close Friday, and in Peter’s Outhouse Comedy (comedy spelled wrong) no less?! I mean that’s supposed to be the best day of the week right? And they closed Newburgh? An entire town?!)
/////33333333333333333333333334 … Hold on … Cricket wakes and steps like a calico Godzilla. “I will crush your small keyboard city!!”
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You ate the best!!! Thank you!!
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Hey quiet!!! Not out loud knucklehead! What did I say about the Universe being a dick!?!? Shit, looking over my shoulder as we speak …
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You’ve been trying to reach me?
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Cool man, thanks, but I don’t need one.
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Shimmy was just what I was looking for (I hate repeating words when you don’t need to which I did with “shuffle”)
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Again?! How is that even physically possible?!
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Sunday? You know I don’t do Sundays.
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Interesting.
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What? Seriously? Jim Croce was cool as fuck.
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Nope, ain’t going there … hehehehe! Plus that would definitely hurt … like a lot!
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(to me) Hahahaha! Omg. You are truly wonderful!!
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Dudette, you are too funny, but still can’t wrap the noggin around that one.
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Well, there is definitely more but it just gets into the minutia of how boring or not boring I am, depending on perspective I guess, though perspective would probably conclude boring.
Now, will I post something more interesting in the future? Jesus, I hope so, but for now this is what I got. Right Cricket? Any more cat thoughts? … oh, sorry kid … my bad … you’re asleep again now after keyboard cities vanquished … sssshhhhh … hey Kid (whispering) I can’t feel my leg.
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