Home: somewhere between 6p and 9p
Home: talk to Sister and possibly a nephew or two
Sit: somewhere start between 7p and 10p
Sit: till cows come home
Sit: write stuff while waiting on cows
Sit: wonder what the hell time it is and check on the cows
Sit:be thankful of some quiet and that no one makes phone calls on Fridays anymore
Sit: depend on mind
Stand: pee, quite a few times or just think you have to. Understand that you are old and it’s just what old does (sprinkle this pee idea in, sprinkle unintended, at numerous other break points during narrative)
Sit: work on something you thought was the greatest idea since the wheel, sliced cheese and the toaster oven this morning
Sit: realize you ain’t got shit
Sit: Don’t look at the news, at least not now, another time with furious intent, you know you’re good at furious, but not at this second’s moment
Sit: re-read some of your things
Sit: Where the hell are the cows?
Troll: step up from under the stairs and announce yourself on the way to a sister who will still be alarmed anyway
Troll: give Rikki, who has your number, knows your footfalls, just at the top, around the step bend, the waddling jiggle jelly belly furry bowling ball with a head some pieces of hard food as a treat and a thank you of her attention
Troll: give Razzy, the sweetest of old girls some treats as well and for the same reason
Sit: realize you still ain’t got shit
Sit: detail your weekend itinerary
Remember: one post that told you you still have inklings of being alive. Re-post it00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 … have a cat foot, feets, foots mock you with zeroes
Sit: Laugh at the concept of sleep
Sit: look for cows and hope it’s not too late into a Sunday just yet to call them home
Lay: grab an elusive Z … or two but don’t get ahead of yourself on stringing some more of them together
Forward: repeat next weekend
Now: be good
Now: know cows do come home
//////////////////////////////////////////
(from up top … Remember: one post that told you you still have inklings of being alive. Re-post it)
(originally posted Oct 15, 2023)
I noticed
I got a bit melancholy tonight as I thought of younger days in my made excuse to hit the pharmacy on my way home for a third time in three days claiming old and having forgotten something the first two times around. The melancholy? The pretty Walgreens pharmacy girl. An unintentional intentional forgetting I guess.
I had been there twice in two days, for legitimate reason, the first to the refill of the relatively recent prescription I have of the smallest of pills that are now old man necessary in the largest of ways to keep the blood pressure on keel and then the second, the next day (after I had forgotten to get it all done in one) to a refill of the other pills that I am life tied to now after having discovered an adrenal deficiency that landed me in some hospital shuffling nine days sock footed sliding slippers shift slide dance with nurses and visiting doctors and pudding (or Jell-O) seven years ago.
But the melancholy came from this third day where I told myself I had to, with ulterior motive, go back and grab some Pepto that I had forgotten to pick up on either day to try and hold off the eventual nights where my heartburn or something of the sort keeps sleep at bay and has become quite a bother. I also thought to maybe pick up anything else for appearances sake in case my obviousness of a single item was noticed, paper towels would work I said to myself, yeah, maybe even some TP and Tums and …
I stepped up to the pharmacy counter, sorta fake purchase in hand, hoping to finally have a sec after the first two trips netted only her coworker and his remarkable beard and perfect quaff of hair above it.
She (a day three reason) immediately recognized and checked the alphabet drawer boxes under “F” for a bag around all the others in an overstuffed pharmacy library (so many people, so many ailments) without me asking.
She gave me a “???” look.
“Ok, sorry, nothing to check for me there right now, I’m all medicined reminded old dude good” I said “I just thought I could pretend that I am checking on prescriptions so I could ring my things up here instead of that line up front that is about a dozen people long, including at least two older women maybe getting ready to pay with a check.”
“Sure, only for you” she said with a laugh and a fetching smile.
I suddenly found myself being young again and talking to a pretty girl and remembering when I would have done such or do such now, usually pretty awkwardly after a maybe initial burst of confidence.
I let her know that her new dark color wave of whispy long flowing shoulder falling hair was a great look and sans glasses too, working even better simply for the change of it, which it did, does.
“You noticed?”
Any guy who has missed this is an idiot.
“Well yeah, of course” I said “been meaning to point it out (been dying to) but I just haven’t had chance to be at the counter with you to tell you so”
She smiled a million dollars.
Now, I have long ago given up such things, appealing to pretty girls like I were young again knowing that I have really nothing to offer now, I am broken, old, have suitcases of shit, history under my eyes, have very particular single habits, I have vices, I have broken myself almost intentionally after too many reasons to break, my breath is hard fought these days, I am out of shape, I am a single dude with two cats (formerly so many missed more) and whatever sad cliché that might imply my care of such worries put to the wayside for times to write of things just like this, but she smiled those million dollars and for just that one moment I was not my aged age any longer and I was reminded that she would have been just who I would have awkwardly tried to grab the attention of back when. The pretty girl who would have caught my eye and maybe a me hers if I were so lucky.
And that was it, though I will have to refill my stay alives in another month or maybe even go through paper towels and TP waaaay faster than any single guy should.
I got a bit melancholy tonight.
“You noticed?”
“Of course I did”
So many idiot guys.
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