And in response to a Flash Fiction prompt from Melissa. Now the prompt said to write something to/about a picture she posted, this one a closeup of a camel.
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(after an accidental crash landing)
Oh sure, just make a left at the red planet you said, the blue one looks nice you said, what could possibly go wrong you said.
Hey, stop giving me shit, the blue one did look really nice and you were on board with making that left.
Yeah whatever, fine, I was on board but that really is only because I’m not the pilot here, plus you threatened to throw me out into space … and now I have sand in my boots!!!
Ok, my bad there, apologies, just a little overreaction to your objections. I don’t take “no’s” very well. You see it all stems back to …
Stop right there.
What?
I don’t want to hear about your multiple mothers and that talking collection of intelligent plants again Y.
Why do you keep calling me Y by the way? It’s not very proper in my culture to shorten …
Because your name is like 30 fucking letters and symbols long (some of which YOU don’t even know) and swells my tongue just trying to pronounce half of them.
You know, I’m hearing some frustration there Paartax my friend, some pent up emotions. You know when I was younger …
Dammit man! Stop with the life references already will ya?! And friend?! You kidnapped me Y, remember? From my very not quite comfy existence on Gallimade where I had a job I didn’t hate too much and a girlfriend I also didn’t hate too much, though she despised me, and two cute little furries and I don’t even know why.
Why what?
Why you kidnapped me.
For research purposes.
Really? Well unless your research somehow involves more than just you and I flitting about the universe all willy nilly and you telling me your back story then I don’t know what this is. It doesn’t seem very “researchy” to me.
You want the truth Paartax, “P” – see, I can do that too!
Whatever, I’m fine, but sure, as long as it doesn’t involve anything about that weird cultish sounding upbringing of yours, or how you grew up like an outcast with no friends or that time you fought a great Maralopin and lost your left arm or …
The mechanical one works just as well thank you, a little better actually, something of an upgrade, but you remember that story?
Well, you ARE missing your left arm and sometimes plop that mechanical monstrosity in my lap ‘cause you think it’s funny so …
It is funny.
Ok fine, it’s funny.
See, we’re bonding.
Shut up.
I kidnapped you P because I was lonely (with a tear falling on his mechanical left arm – Oh shit, that could cause some rusting – wipe wipe wipe). Is that what you wanted to hear? Me being vulnerable?
Ok, you can quit the drama now but … damn.
Hey, we’ve had some fun right? That time on Laxia? Where we met those cool Laxians?
They were trying to kill us Y.
Or what about Galarria? That was nice.
Also tried to kill us.
Qadiss?
Tried to kill us.
Beloga?
Tried to kill us, and threatened to butter and cook and eat us afterwards in some sort of ritual festival.
Remlar?
Tried to kill us.
Ok, there were a lot of bad first impressions but you and I are here now and together. Wait?! What about that small planet in the Nemu system, the one with the … the uhh … the really forgettable people, which one was that?
I don’t remember. Began with a T or a D something?
Yeah, that one … maybe. Those folks didn’t try to kill us.
No, no you’re right. They wanted to take us TO and not BE lunch during the week and play board games and join book clubs and make guacamole dip for weekend get togethers around a pool in someone’s backyard, show us around their capital city and just talk, talk, nonstop talk.
Well, that was a good one right? Again, didn’t try to kill us right?
Remember how incredibly boring they were?
Kinda.
Kinda?
Well, they were boring, so kinda.
So boring we wanted to kill ourselves?
Ahh, son of a bitch.
I know, washes out to the same end as all the others huh?
Dammit … but you said you weren’t really all that happy.
No I didn’t.
Yes you did. Do you want me to have this guy writing this story copy and paste what you said about your job and that girlfriend up top right here?
No, leave it. Alright, I wasn’t very happy, though I do miss my little furs …
And this has been a pretty good adventure so far?
Well, yeah, just minus everyone we meet wanting to kill us or making us want to kill ourselves, but this new one might be a bit tough to wriggle out of.
How so?
We’re stranded in some sort of dessert Y, not really all that blue is this? It’s pretty dry, and yellow and really fucking hot!
Relax, we just need to fix and fill the unconventional matter converter and we will be on our way. Oh, look, a local. Let’s say Hi!
Oh, here we go again.
Hello big fella, that is quite the wiry coat you are wearing …
Oh dammit Y, this thing just spit on me!!
Well, that’s better than trying to kill us and or eat us or bore us to death right?
Sigh, sure … hello big fella … ahh really?! He just spit on me again Y!!
Wait, check out the back end! Some unconventional matter! We may be in luck!
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