(I’ve posted this before, Frankenberry Took A Selfie, but it makes me laugh and that’s all that really matters, so I thought I’d post it again, plus it’s Friday and I’m bored and whatever that might mean for justification)
I don’t do selfies for obvious reason …
“Steve, move your phone … no, move it up … you want your face in this”
“Why?”
“Ummm, ‘cause it’s a selfie? … that’s kinda the idea here man, it’s in the name.”
“Why again am I taking this selfie?”
“You were thinking of a dating app, a profile pic.”
“No I wasn’t”
“Something to make your family happy? Ya know, show ’em you’re getting out there”
“But I don’t want to get “out there””
“Yes you do”
“I do?”
“Yes … (hypnotic social pressure music drone) Yes … yes … you …. do.”
“Ok well, you can turn that shit off now, it’s annoying … people do this?”
“All the time”
“Really?”
“Really”
“Take pictures of themselves?”
“Yes, doing all sorts of things and even with pursed pouty lips”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know, things dude, standing on bluffs right before they fall off and hit the rocks and the news as just another sad example of stupid, or in daily shots of the same shit as yesterday just somehow different on this new day, or with bison that are two seconds away from trampling them or ignoring the moment with family and friends or standing with their hands outstretched holding their phones, though those confuse me, things that still end up just being pictures of themselves”
“Well that’s just weird, we have mirrors, but no, I guess you’re right, I have heard of such”
“Exactly! Like I said, all the time …”
“But what if my face might scare the children?”
“They’ll adjust, maybe with some therapy but they’ll adjust”
“That could be years and really expensive but ok … well how about this?”
“(sigh) Ok, work in progress my man, a work in progress.”
“Ya know, I think I might just need a painting or a Beatles poster or something on that wall behind me”
“(sigh twice)”
frankenberrysattic.com 