Though I have plenty of other shit to concern myself with right now, I’m packing for a move, packing around cats without telling them what’s up just yet, I still can’t stop the need to editorialize in song. Seriously though, mums the word around Bella and Cricket right now alright? They’re very sensitive.
For everyone’s favorite Russian asset (well except for Comrade Don of course) …
To “Billy Don’t Be A Hero”
Tucker, Russia’s State Hero
The marching heroes jackboot along red square
Right GOP wish join them there
We looked and there was Tucker Carson-ovich
Glass held high for a grandstand pass
.
And with his head on Putin’s shoulder
His man crush who the press gets wrong
From where he sat he knew west was lying
Time now to set the record straight
.
Tucker Russia’s state hero, you are like brother they say
Tucker Russia’s real hero, please re-direct all the hate
And as they started to talk the Russian press could be heard to cry
Tucker you’re our real hero platform the lies
.
The Russian news was on Carson-ov’s side now
Tell them of how we’ll de-Nazifi
That damned Ukraine our truth’s in demand now
The propgandists applaud the ruse
We know you’ll tell the world the whole truth
We didn’t invade it’s NATO’s fault
And Tucker raised his hand in consent yes
I’ll join you Russian journalists
.
Tucker Russia’s state hero, you are like brother they say
Tucker Russia’s real hero, please re-direct all the hate
And as they started to talk the Russian press could be heard to cry
Tucker you’re our real hero platform the lies
.
They implored Tucker send a message
To the west’s GOP crazees
You need stop sending aid to Ukraine now
And helping out that Zee-len-skee
you’re always welcome here our friend now … comrade
.
Tucker Russia’s state hero, you are like brother they say
Tucker Russia’s real hero, please re-direct all the hate
Tucker keep being traitor, we’ll crush that dee-mocracy
Tucker keep propping up white Christian supremacy
Tucker Russia’s state hero, you are like brother they say
Tucker Russia’s state hero won’t you please stay
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