Since it is all Halloweeny time now and such and a time where the Monster Family of Cereals (Frankenberry, Count Chocula, Boo Berry, Frute or Fruit Brute, Yummy Mummy) come out to play again on the shelves of Targets or Walmarts or Payless Shoes (buy one clunky pair of thick heeled boo (t) s and neck bolts and get a box of Frankenberry) or any similar store that might claim in these boxes whole grain but also a laundry list of other ingredients you can’t pronounce that will probably give you pause years from now according to science and may explain things but a good source of calcium and 12 vitamins and minerals now just available in sugared front, I thought I’d re-post this one from June when I learned that there was a new addition to the family, Carmella Creeper.
Hey, shut up, it’s what I do.
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A good friend of mine recently posted to me at Facebook of the arrival of a new member of the family of Monster Cereals, Carmella Creeper. (thanks Patty, I didn’t get the cereal text alert for some reason … thought for sure I was on the list).
Fixing up her room here in the haunted house here as we speak.
For those that may not know my name is actually Frankenberry. It’s not a radio handle I invented somehow as some have thought on occasion over the years, that I may have decided, maybe drunkenly they thought, that a pink strawberry flavored Frankenstein looking monster cereal character would be the perfect name to attach to a radio persona or to a Blog from an Attic.
No, Stephen J Frankenberry to be exact as my English mother would surely and adamantly have you note. And Stephen with a proper “PH” she would also add. Not some Americanized “V” as she always viewed it. Not that she thought less of anyone with that “V” mind you, though maybe silently thinking such of the parents, “It’s not their kids fault” she surely thought.
“I’m sure they are all very fine Stephens but just with a “V”? … sigh”.
The cereal came out when I was 7, in 1971 (yes, I’m old) and inspired many the jokes then and ribbings on long school bus rides and also prank phone calls on the weekends that would drive my mother mad, in a “mad” monstery kind of way huh? HeHeHe.
“Hello, is Count Chocula there? (click)
“Hello, is Boo Berry there?” (click)
A few years later
“Hello, is Fruit Brute there? (click)
She, in her very English just off the plane only 8 years earlier, had no idea what prank phone calls were.
“Joseph Frankenberry!! You and this bloody name!!” followed with a “Hell’s Bells” and many other very English expletives that she would eventually get a bit more explicit with but with an English accent which just made them sound really cool so you forgave.
Whatever and well, I have always been inextricably connected to a pink strawberry flavored Frankenstein monster cereal character and am quite fond of it, even have a tattoo on my forearm to proclaim Monster Family solidarity.
So, to find out that I have a cousin?
Well now, that was pretty exciting.
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Nice to make your acquaintance Carmella, and welcome to the family.
So, a couple of things. I tend to walk around the haunted house here in only tighty-whities, neck bolts and my big ass scarred head head accessories clutching a one eyed teddy bear, the Count can be a little arrogant and is something of a night bat with his late night TV viewing of horror and Hallmark flicks (he finds it very amusing that somehow the two aren’t really all that distinguishable from one another), Boo is a sweetheart though a little flighty, and Fruit Brute is a bit unpredictable and will most certainly leer at you. Just remind him that we are family and that this isn’t the South … oh, and that you will kick his ass (he’s all talk). Yummy Mummy visits from Egypt on the holidays and has his own room with a sarcophagus in the basement.
Oh, I’m also historically, according to the TV commercials, a bit of a scaredy cat, so if you can keep the “Creeper” part of “Carmella Creeper” to a minimum I would appreciate it. Your room is all the way up at the top of the stairs in the attic loft bedroom with a great crow’s eye view of the graveyard in the front lawn. It’s a pain in the ass to mow and weed whack around all the headstones but is still quite eye catching (though the HOA are NOT fans and don’t find the same aesthetic in it that we do).
But again, welcome to the Monster Cereal Fam Carmella!! Lookin’ forward to October!!
Brute, seriously? What did I tell you about her being family?! Really Carmella, feel to kick his ass!!!
frankenberrysattic.com 