Just a quick breakdown of some lowlights from last week that was.
Man-child threw a hissy after his intended photo-op master negotiator victory went south and instead proudly pronounced his future pride of shutting down the government just before Christmas if he didn’t get his ego wall (stomping feet, pressed fingers, pursed lips, shit thrown).
Kellyanne “Carott Nose” Conway tweeted some words in a vacuum to “The Chief” (not the honorific she surely wanted to make it seem but just an IQ simplistic short for Chief of Staff) General John Kelly and his family…thoughts and prayers that they may be able to somehow, someday, someway find for John some semblance of the white enabled self respect and credibility he held so dear until he tumbled down a deep dark orange rabbit hole where all such things are forever lost.
Mick “Weasel” Mulvaney, three hundred and thirtieth or so on the list, with lips firmly placed, was named acting “The Chief” giving him a chance to finally take a break from both dreaming a fully realized Paul Ryan-esque draconian budget dream and screwing consumer protections.
Interior Secretary Zinke resigned hoping to maybe step out of and ahead of the new swamp he has so enjoyed swimming in like many before him. He’d like to take his expensive door and some of his guns and animal trophies with him if that’s alright.
A child died. Again, with only dreams to blame.
Press Secretary Hucksterbee said she hopes her legacy will be that she has tried to be “transparent and honest” every day (cue canned sitcom laughter)
And, in my favorite moment of the week, Google CEO Sundar Pichai had to explain to Congress why googling “idiot” shows Donald Trump. He somehow restrained himself from responding “Well…duh?”
I know I said “Week in Review” but this might have just been last Tuesday or was it maybe Thursday…I don’t know…so much surreal and stupid shit happens so often that it all melds…hard to tell what constitutes a week these days. Now a new moment of required Zen…(Cheers Jon Stewart)
Kittens in paws running fastly…away from the week in review. (starring Blink)