Frankenberry's Attic

(so do you have 3 and a half minutes? sure ya do)

A week or so ago my pal Rick, a bestest of mine going on 40 years now, back to our WVU days, posted this to the Facebook:  

FB JUST INVITED ME TO JOIN NOT MY 1^ST OR 2^ND BUT 4^TH FLAT EARTH SOCIETY GROUP PAGE. DO I LOOK THAT DUMB? DO I HAVE BEDHEAD?

Now, surely these requests are just a joke as no, “he doesn’t look that dumb” (well, you just need to get the angle of the light correct) and the bedhead, actually, could work in his favor, possibly giving him a sort of disheveled but don’t underestimate him professor kinda look “Don’t make me cut ya with my wit kids!!” And there is also an irony in this as he’s spent his career as a writer for NASA.

But, when he posted that, the first thing that came to mind for me was the first few lines of Three Dog Night’s “Black & White” (no, I don’t know why) but in place of “The World is Black, The World is White” I sang, instead,  “The World is Flat, That’s Where We’re At”.

Then, I was just gonna do the first verse, make fun of him, paint him a Flat Earth nutter or something and be good … until …

So here then is some fun and what ended up being a little fairy tale of a parody tune about a cat, his friend a rat, a flat earth and a Cheshire cheese moon.

(no cats or rats or cheese grinning moons were harmed during the making of this silliness, though some dogs may have turned up a pained ear and then buried their heads in their paws)

The Cat and Percy the Rat that Fell from the Flat … Earth

The world is flat, that’s where we’re at

Walk to the edge, you might lose your hat

Some say it’s round, we’re not buying that

Walk as long as you’d like, just don’t take your cat

Don’t take your caa-haaa-haat

.

He could end up, wear-ing your hat

But out there in space, he ain’t comin’ back

A space farin’ caaaaaaaat

.

The cat’s now at, wearing your hat

Looking to grab, somewhere else that’s flat

Thought of his friend, Per-cy the rat

Who’d also fall-en, off of Earth’s flat-flat

A space farin’ raaaaaat

.

He’d call Per-cy to come chit chat

help him find a place safe for a cat  

Help me Raaaaaat!

.

Then Percy smiled, a Cheshire rat

From in the Moon, that was also flat

He waved real hard, to his friend the cat

Before his friend then, just flew right past

In his really cool haaaaaaat

.

The cat he smiled, under his hat

When he saw his friend Per – Cy the rat

He thought just why, was where he’s at

Cause it’s made of cheese, smiled his friend the rat

Put some in your cool haaaaaaat

.

Percy the rat, then ran to catch

His friend the cat, who was flying past

He tossed his tail, it grew long for that

And his friend was fast, ‘cause he was a cat

A tail grabbin’ caaaaaaat

.

C’mon

Grab his tail cat

Get it

C’mon

Help him out rat

They became

The Cheshire Rat Cats 

In a cheese moon

‘Cause it was so flat

Like the earth

They were once at

Percy the Cheshire

Cheshire Moon Rat

And his friend

The Cheshire Moon Cat

The one that’s in

The really, really cool hat

…

Filled with cheese