Red Carpets And Outfits Almost On A Dare

Came across a few articles earlier today at the station in some downtime between the end of the recording of one show and the waiting to start the recording of another of some fashion “choices” or possibly “dares” from the Grammy’s, a collection, for the most part, of photo’s of really unfortunate Red Carpet outfits, and I mean really unfortunate.

Look, I know this is the gig for award show events, any of them, for spectacle on the red carpet, for some outlandish outfits to really dash your fashion sensibilities and even if you don’t have any fashion sensibilities make you suddenly develop them specifically for the purpose of then having them dashed.

Sequins came up a lot in the pictures I couldn’t turn away from and surely had some rubbernecking company going on around their car wrecks besides mine, at least one outfit seemed to be missing the pants portion of it, while another couldn’t find the portion where it’s middle was supposed to be, one looked like the red carpeteer had fallen down into a field of flowers after being a bridesmaid but covered in glue, there was an apparent hand me down suit from a much larger older brother, a dress that seemed built with extra “backup” folds of material sticking out from the chest in case it was found necessary to possibly patch up any malfunctions or disasters in a sudden emergency like say the dress being run over by someone’s dressing room trailer in a moment of spite, there was a layered pink ball skirt meets bondage thing just minus some dude on all fours on a leash in an equally pink tutu with a ball in his mouth, there was what looked like a teal sweatsuit meets bell bottom flashbacks and super hero chic (it came with a cape), there was country goth, there was even a spaceman all in black look with a hoodie, suit jacket, sweats, goggles and helmet all atop some space age snow shoe looking sneakers (no surprise that that was Will.I.Am) but my top 3 were these …

Harry Styles as court jester in a sort of harlequin one piece that the King didn’t even know he wanted to entertain in his court until he thought to himself “Yeah, I didn’t want this”, Shania Twain after getting kicked back up the rabbit hole and out of Wonderland showed up in this wished Lewis Carroll meets a black and white Twister board meets Gandalf, then one that was described very kindly in one article with “All I can think about is the rows of people not being able to see the stage because of this dress. Yes, it’s beautiful, but not for a seated event.”

Actually no, that’s not it, it’s not what any of us would be thinking … at all.

It’s a tree. She’s a tree (though surely the camera’s are Mom & Dad click clicking away at the school’s arbor day play).

Now there were, still, some really nice tasteful outfits but they were overshadowed, of course, by these outlandish, though I did continue to not be able to turn away from as many pictures I could take in in this short period between recordings window of mine while judging them all in a 16 year old Mighty Mouse T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants that I also wore yesterday so who am I to judge?

I know “envy doesn’t suit you Frankenberry” and point taken, though I think I might have to get a hold of that teal cape to go with the even older Underdog T-shirt that I plan on wearing tomorrow in the same pair of sweatpants.

Hey!! I air them out overnight!!