Jeff: (practically breathless) Donnie, open up, it’s me Jeff.
Donnie: Jeff who?
Jeff: Sessions. Your AG?
Donnie: You wearing those little monogrammed jackboots of yours?
Jeff: Not today.
Donnie: Damn, and they’re so cute. You sound out of breath. What’s wrong?
Jeff: The boards you’ve nailed into the tree are too far apart, it’s a really tough climb.
Donnie: Not my fault. Maybe I should call some bleeding heart Dems to sue over our Tree House not being elf accessible.
Jeff: Funny, no we’re fine, I’m here.
Donnie: You’re at the wrong door.
Jeff: Whattaya mean wrong door?
Donnie: You can’t use that one.
Jeff: Why not?
Donnie: Because your door is over there to the left.
Jeff: What, that little one?
Donnie: Yeh, The “Alice” door. Now what’s today’s password?
Jeff: I didn’t know there was one.
Donnie: Of course there’s a password Lil’ Jeff, it’s a clubhouse, clubhouses have passwords. Duh.
Jeff: Lil’ Jeff?
Donnie: I know, very street cool huh? Now what’s the password?
Jeff: I have no idea.
Donnie: C’mon it’s easy. Something very top of mind for me these days and there’s really not a lot up there.
Donnie: Hey Mr. recusal, you want me bashing you on twitter again?! Just guess!!
Jeff: Ok, hold on…you claim to be friends with Tom Brady right? – is it Spygate?
Donnie: THAT’S Spygate?….No
Jeff: Wait, you’re REALLY envious of Xi for more than his lifetime appointment? – Great Wall?
Donnie: The Chinese have a Great Wall?…NO!
Jeff: Alright, give me a sec…you’ve been reading up on the Salem Witch trials? – how about Witch Hunt?
Donnie: I’m confused…and NO, I don’t read…NO NO NO!! Ok, I’ve got a better idea. What if tell you what the password is but you have to promise not to tell anyone who you learned it from?
Donnie: Hold on, just gotta grab my cell, I’m gonna call ya.
Jeff: You’re gonna call me?
Donnie: Yeh, I do it all the time
Jeff: Your personal cell?
Donnie: Don’t start with me too Jeff, it’s the biggest bestest secure of all secure stuff. No one can access it but me, I mean it’s right on my night stand or in my pocket, never leaves my sight. Absolutely secure.
Jeff: Ok…the passw…
Donnie: Hey, hold on! You gotta knock first.
Jeff: Alright… *Knock Knock
Donnie: Who is it?
Jeff: It’s me, Jeff.
Donnie: This is fun. You wearing those cute little jackboots?
Donnie: Oh right. And you say it’s Jeff? You sure about that? Juuuuuuuuuuust Jeff?
Jeff: Sigh…it’s me…Lil’Jeff.
Donnie: Is Kanye with ya?
Jeff: Um, no?
Donnie: Damn, thought that might work. Anyway, what’s the password?
Jeff: It’s Recusal
Donnie: Damn right it is JEFF!! R E C something, maybe Use All. I wouldn’t be in any of this shit if it weren’t for that!! You could have made it ALLLLL go away, but NOOOO, you had to show some integrity for the first and only time in your life!! You know, I didn’t hire you for integrity by the…..
Jeff: …yes, I know. Can I come in now?
Jeff: Thank you (starts for the door)
Donnie: Not that door Jeff.
Jeff: Sigh (again)…alright the “Alice” door.
Jeff: So who else is part of the meeting?
Donnie: Well, there’s supposed to be a few, WWW III Bolton, Kitten Kelly, Puppet Pompeo, Hanger Hannity, Jared the Jew, maybe Token Ben, Kellyanne for comic relief, I love it when she just makes shit up and when she wears brown shirts with Laura Ingraham, Hucksterbee to lie about the meeting when it’s done and maybe a few others. I have a feeling, though, that it might just be me and you.
Jeff: Why is that?
Donnie: None of them know the password.
Donnie: Who is it?
Donnie: What’s the password?
Bolton: Really Big Fucking Bombs….no, I’m just kidding. It’s Recusal.
Donnie: Who’s there?
Donnie: Ok, who is it now?
Donnie: You still Black?
Donnie: Any press catch you coming to see me?
Carson: A few.
Donnie: Did they take pictures, ask if you were still Black?
Donnie: And you told them in your capacity as Black you supported me right?
Donnie: Good, that’s very important. What’s the password?
Donnie: Ohhhh, what the fuck!!! Do you all know the password?
*in unison “Yeh”
Bolton: Everybody else does too. It got leaked just a couple of minutes ago.
Donnie: Fucking leakers!!! Jeff! You wearing those little jackboots?!!!
Jeff: I told you, No.
Donnie: Shit! We need jackboots today! But, not little cute ones! Big ones! Big heavy motherfucking stomp on necks & heads jackboots!! Fucking leakers!!
*FOX & Friends State News Update
“This just in. Supreme Lead…President Trump & his secret meeting at his official secret Tree House was leaked to the press just moments ago after details were acquired through an unsecure cell phone. We wait breathlessy on twitter….””